I spent a few hours last week lying in our garden, reading a great book, basking in the sunshine. It was simply too gorgeous to be inside and I decided everything else could wait. As I lay there, I overheard my neighbour from inside her house on the phone to her husband: “Yep, I’ve just finished ironing all your shirts… Yep, your t-shirts too.”
My curiosity was sparked. Here were probably our last few hours of warmth, of glorious weather, before we turn the corner in to winter; an opportunity to relax, listen to the birds, be carefree… and someone was choosing to spend them ironing. Continuing my thought process from last week, I wondered about why we do the things we do – how each of us decides what to do in any given moment.
Often, we will choose an activity like ironing because it honours our values. We consider professionalism, quality or feeling smart to be important to us. AND often we do things out of habit, or by default. We don’t even realise that by saying “yes” to one activity, we’re saying “no” to another which we’d find infinitely more fulfilling. The question is not so much ‘should I do this activity?’ but rather ‘is this activity more important, will it bring more joy, than the other options available to me right now?’ It’s down to each of us to know where that line is between values-honouring and conforming to ‘shoulds’ or distracting ourselves from life.
It’s interesting how much time we spend ironing out the creases, rather than living fully. We can go to great effort to make life spotless and perfect, rather than just throwing ourselves in, creases and all. My personal crease-addiction is words. I’ll double, triple, quadruple check emails before they go off. Sometimes, it’s because I love phrasing things ‘just so’ and get immense satisfaction from it. Sometimes, I’m avoiding making an error, fearful of looking stupid, eager to impress. The former is fun and worthwhile, the latter is a waste. What do I miss out on when I’m spending those extra minutes behind the computer?
Maybe we could allow ourselves and others more room for creases. Perhaps we could increase our tolerance of the things which really don’t matter, and decrease our tolerance for those which do. Maybe we could ignore crumpled shirts and a ‘your’ instead of a ‘you’re’ and instead get feisty about the times when we waste our time, our potential, our lives. Here’s an apt thought on this topic by Raphie Frank, a storyteller: “You look at the scratch and completely miss the diamond.”
The World Needs Your Passion, So…
Ask yourself: Where are you ironing away the creases, rather than living life? How do YOU decide what to do, and what not to waste your time on? This week, choose one crease-ironing activity and pledge to yourself to do it less in order to free up some of your life. Let the scratches go and focus on the diamond.
I’d love to hear which activity you choose, and what happens as a result. Post a comment….
* Do your imperfections make you want to reach for the iron?
Do you hold back from doing things because you fear failure?
Are you ready to stop clinging to crease-reduction and live fully instead?!
Find out more about the Fail Is Not A Four Letter Word workshop and claim more of your life.