This weekend was the darkest time of our year. Daylight was in short supply and it felt like happiness was too. Several of my loved ones are having a hard time at the moment. One friend is struggling with depression, another is recovering from a serious medical condition, a beloved family member hit “rock bottom”. Facebook statuses seemed to be full of illness, sadness and ennui. The news as ever was full of doom and gloom and in my coaching work, I listened to clients dealing with deep loneliness, chronic lack of self-belief, frustration, despair and painful self-sabotage. The overwhelming feeling I had was that people are finding life hard right now.
Against this backdrop, a few relatively small challenges in my own life knocked me off balance. I watched a new video on peak oil which reiterated the severity of the challenges ahead with the billions of human lives that will be lost if we don’t act with urgency. I heard back from the London Paper that they weren’t going to run with my idea for a regular column and then three strangers unsubscribed from my ezine. The little self-doubting voice in my head put the two together and said: “People are suffering and maybe you’ve got nothing of value to offer them”.
We all have crises of belief – whether in ourselves or the world. There are times when it all feels very scary, when life feels like the enemy. Depression has been familiar to me and to many of my loved ones. It is for these reasons that yesterday was so significant. The winter solstice is the darkest we go, the least light we have. It offers us a metaphor for how far we can go into the darkness before things start to turn around.
Because, of course, winter solstice is simultaneously the signal of the returning light. The promise of the dawn. Its message is that in the very darkest darkness, there is a glimmer of hope. It’s understandable that early Christians chose this time of year to celebrate the birth of Jesus; this was the time of year already associated with the unconquerable light, a vitality that can never be destroyed, hope resurrecting when it feels like none is left.
Just as light returns to darkness, so acts of kindness bring light when we’re feeling down or alone. For me, friends who’d spotted the London Paper ‘rejection’ sent heart-warming messages of encouragement; some beautiful people have signed up to receive my New Way Resolutions e-course, excited to have that support, and one added a message: “Yay for Corrina. In gratitude for sharing your passion”. It’s so beautiful when we reach out to acknowledge each other, even with only a handful of words.
In this dark time of year, may we all remember to reach out for others, reach out to others, and to be loving comforts for ourselves. May we know the importance of kindness and never underestimate the impact of a thoughtful word or generous deed. May we recognise how cold our world can be and commit to being a source of warmth. As Plato said, “Be kind… for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.
May your holidays be full of peace, full of joy, and full of love.
Corrina
The World Needs Your Passion, So…
1) Take a walk in the fresh winter air and ask yourself: When there is despair, what is my hope?
2) Light a candle and reflect: In the darkness, what is my light?
3) What could you say, be or do today that would bring hope, light and warmth to another? Do it.
© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2008
* Someone To Walk Beside You *
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Hi Corrina,
The holiday season can bring a lot of gloom with it. People feel like they should be doing all sorts of conformist things. The best gift we can give ourselves would be to tear up the Christmas blueprint and do it our own way. My best Christmas since childhood? The time my husband and I drove the Pacific Coast Highway, staying in an inn on Christmas eve. The owner had the backyard all lit up with lights.
I now focus on all the beautiful lights everywhere. They are upbeat and everyone does it to feel festive. Tonight or tomorrow night, we will go to a nearby shrine area where they’ve got maybe 8 acres lit up with lights. Then we get hot chocolate. Lovely.
People sometimes unsubscribe from ezines. They often feel the need to move on. I don’t take it personally anymore. It’s just not the right fit. Or, I/we have helped them so much they have the strength/courage to move on!
Keep trying with the column. Maybe you need to tweak it? I’ve got a semi-regular column with my daily. Write about body scanners, food, surveillance, etc. Columns need to be controversial to be successful. You’ve got to really be willing to put yourself on the line. Did you do that in your pitch? I’d be happy to take a look at it.
Our lives might take on more meaning if our goals were to be kind, to light the way for others, to see life as an adventure in helping.
The goal to make tons of money just doesn’t cut it. If we make tons of money being kind, lighthouseish and adventurous that’s a nice side effect.
With different goals everyone has a chance to be successful.
Here’s to customizing your goals!
warmly, Giulietta
Giulietta Nardone´s last [type] ..Key to Success and Happiness
Thank you.
You’re always a great source of light and you consistently remember that it is in our darkest hour when we need to light the way for others the most.
I love the solstice; there’s no light without the dark,
x
Nick
Giulietta – Bless you for being ‘lighthouseish’ – what a great adjective to coin!
This post was actually from 2 years ago, was just re-posting as it seemed timely, so I’m totally with you on the unsubscribe thing. I’m really happy when people unsubscribe from my newsletter – they’re decluttering! And the pitch was to a newspaper that very shortly after folded. Funny how these things happen, eh? – and the power of hindsight. Worth remembering that when we’re feeling down, there’ll be a future time when we can look back and those things which troubled us will no longer seem at all important. Blessings to you.
Nick – It’s ironic, isn’t it. Sounds counter-instinctive but so true: what we’re needing is what we need to give. The snow at the moment seems to offer a light of its own – so bright. Thank you for the light that you are & hope to see you again soon.
Corrina Gordon-Barnes´s last [type] ..Self-Employed Women Can’t Afford To Be Sick
Thank you for sharing this so openly Corrina. Much appreciated, for indeed there are huge issues looming both collectively and individually across the globe and we need brave, courageous light shiners like you to open up places to dialogue and process the despair, fear and hurt we are experiencing.
Solstice is such a deep soul searching time where all shadows can come out to dance. If we face and feel our fear, we can enter the dance of the dark and reclaim vast resources of energy. We can release the lion of anger that often sits within the cave of depression and give it room to roar. We can reclaim our dignity from within our anxiety to please. We can search out our integrity within our wavering. We can ask of our self-saboteur – why are you here – and often find that it is just trying to protect us in a back to front kind of way. The shadows are just messengers to dance us into deeper understandings, when we fully embrace them they can become great dance partners!:)
As Jill Purce points out crisis comes from the greek for ‘a place to decide’- so crisis is really a crossroads, a place of initation and discovery and a place where we make life changing decisions. I have learnt from the crises in my own life that they contain a deep purpose which is often not apparent until later. I have trust that these crises we are facing together have an intelligence within them in moving us towards new ways of living that we may not even be able to conceive of yet.
We just need to love and love and love each other through it, warts, shadows, self saboteurs n all!
Sending love to you and all of us
Thank you again for being the wonderful brave being that you are!
xxx
Ah Corrina, you always manage to hot the nail on the head! I have been feeling very down lately, very low in confidence and generally a bit rubbish! And yet at the time of year which is supposed to be filled with joy and happiness I find myself feeling the complete opposite!
Laura xx
Katie – Your poetic way of expressing these things always moves me, THANK YOU. For others reading, do click on Katie’s name to take a look at her website – she offers sound healing and beautiful solstice/full moon sound celebrations, among others. Always beautiful offerings.
Laura – You’re so not alone. For many people, this time of year is a time of hibernation, soul-searching, disconnect from purpose and isolation. The sparkly lights are there perhaps as a remedy (& often to sell stuff!) & it being the ‘season to be jolly’ is again perhaps a hand reaching out, to help people out of the darkness, back into hope & light. We’re speaking later… I hope to extend some love to you then xx
Corrina Gordon-Barnes´s last [type] ..Self-Employed Women Can’t Afford To Be Sick
Hi Corrina,
Found your site thought an insightful comment you made at Mark Silver’s site.
I appreciate your honest post. Many in modern cultures resist the dark parts of life. Spiritual teachers tell us that when we do, we miss a powerful opportunity for growth and change. In my experience, the dark areas of my life are spirit inviting me into a transformation. These days, I say yes to this kind of change much more easily. In fact, I’ve been deliberately exploring the idea of darkness as a womb, an idea that comes from David Whyte’s poem “Sweet Darkness”. It makes it much safer to explore the possibilities inherent in the darkness.
Nice to meet you!
Paul
Paul Zelizer´s last [type] ..The World’s Shortest Meaningful Holiday Wishes
Paul – Welcome here! ‘Darkness as a womb’ serves to move it from a cold, unfriendly place to a space of nurturing, warmth, benevolent mystery. An invitation to wallow in darkness. Thank you.
Corrina Gordon-Barnes´s last [type] ..Why Christmas Is Good for Your Business