We often stay where we are because we fear firsts.

I’m leading my first teleclass series at the moment. My experience before the first class was decidedly uncomfortable; I was full of nerves and a torrent of concerns; Would the conference line work? Had I given everyone the right number? What if my phone battery died? What if my printer ink cartridge ran out and I couldn’t print my notes? What if… What if… ?

After the first call, I ran around my house, shrieking with euphoric relief. I loved it and could hardly bear that I had to wait a whole week until I got to do it again. I’d broken the seal on a brand new bottle of delights: a new experience, a new territory I’d opened up for myself.

Often, people hire me because they are fed up of being stuck in same-old land, where there are no firsts and indeed great fear of firsts.

What helps them break the seal and crack open the new?

Here are five strategies I’ve seen work:

1. Create a deadline. Publicise a date and commit to some accountability. Manoeuvre yourself into a hard-to-back-out-of situation where you don’t want to let someone down who is depending on you. Let go of the tendency to overanalyze the deadline – you may be surprised by what you can achieve in a short time-span; as Parkinson’s Law states: “Work expands so as to fill time available”. There can be a tendency to over-prepare for a first experience which is why casual deadlines get pushed back and back until they fade away and become forgotten about. And catch yourself trying to back out of deadlines with seemingly valid excuses. Only one person has signed up? Go ahead anyway.

2. Acknowledge that fear is normal. We don’t often see people doing things for the first time. The actress on stage, the seasoned teacher, the accomplished public speaker all seem so polished. But they had a first time too and back then, they were probably terrified. When your fear kicks in, take that as a sign that you’re normal and that you’re moving into new territory.

3. Think ahead. Get out of the now. It’s easy to get blinkered tunnel-vision when all that surrounds you is the fear of doing this for the first time. Ask yourself: What will it be like in an hour? At 6pm? Next week? That future version of you will be on the other side of this situation, having done it and for that future you, this experience will have been worth it.

4. Rely on a champion. If you were the captain of a ship and announced that you were taking the ship into unchartered territory, your crew might become justifiably anxious. They might even mutiny. You want someone there with you, as your unconditionally supportive mate, steadying your hand and believing in your choice of new direction. At the moment, the odds are stacked in favour of the familiar; you need someone to help tilt that balance.

5. Grow your evidence. Every time I do something new for the first time, I sit there with the fear and ask myself: “Corrina, why on earth are you doing this to yourself again?!” I imagine it’s the same question a long-distance runner asks themselves half-way through a race. Why do we do it? Because ultimately the pleasure and satisfaction are far greater than the discomfort. As your bank of evidence grows, you’ll see more clearly that the pay-off from a new first-time is worth that initial discomfort.

Familiarity is a tempting comfort blanket, wrapping us up in the boundaries that we’ve marked out for our existing life. Deep down, that’s not where we really want to stay. We want to be the person who has done the new thing, who has it behind us, and who is now basking in the new territory.

The World Needs Your Passion, So…

1) The action this week is simple yet it’s no mean feat. Use the five strategies above to support you in committing to do something for the first time. Set a deadline that it’d be hard to get out of, expect the fear, project to the future satisfaction, choose someone as your champion, and watch your evidence start growing.

2) Leave a comment on this blog post, letting us know how you find first times. Which of these strategies do you already use? What else might help? When have pay-offs been worth the initial discomfort? And how do you remind yourself of that when the fear kicks in?

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

Want to receive these blog posts direct to your in-box, plus hear about special offers?

Simply subscribe here.

Want A Different Kind Of Christmas Present This Year?

Fed up of the same old CD, book and pair of pyjamas under the Christmas tree?

You might like to ask for a present from You Inspire Me this year. You could get an e-course to help with your new year resolution (£7.50), a place on a workshop to combat your fear of failure or kickstart your venture (£35 – £45), a one-to-one session (£75), or a coaching journey of eight sessions (£600).

No snazzy vouchers as yet but simply send an email to your loved one with the relevant webpage link and a little ‘pretty please’ note at the bottom and they can fill out the relevant booking or enquiry form and play Santa.