I put a request out on Twitter and Facebook asking what your main challenges are at this time of year. Responses came back showing a definite theme: “taking time off”, “I find it hard to stop working”, “striking the right balance between rest, work and play”, “slowing down”.
There may be a clear need for you to take some physical rest – to enjoy a well-earned break and just stop. You may have noticed that if you don’t build in enough downtime, your body takes charge and forces you into a halt. You may also discover that if you’ve been storming ahead at high speed, you find yourself succumbing to ‘relaxation illness’ – in other words, the moment you stop, you get that cold or flu which was being held at bay whilst on the treadmill.
But ‘resting’ might not necessarily involve a physical stop. When I lived in Australia, I volunteered at a homeless shelter on Christmas Day. It was relatively strenuous – setting up the hall, distributing food, clearing up afterwards – but being there got me away from my own drama and the loneliness I felt from being so far from home. It gave me some sanctuary, a time-out of sorts. It might be that your fortnight ahead is full of physical activity: wrapping, packing, traveling and lots of people. What rest can you find amid all that?
It might be that resting is about letting go of the exhausting old stories that you spin about yourself, stories like: “I’m no good” or “I can’t do this as well as her”. Perhaps now is the perfect time to tell that critical voice to go on holiday and leave you alone. Here is an opportunity to say farewell to old stories about what Christmas is meant to be about – whether that involves dropping a super-woman compulsion to get everything perfect, or releasing the need to purchase in order to show people you love them.
It may be that resting for you is about letting go of the fight. Is there a particular topic which you and your mother always clash over? What would it be like to decide to put being peaceful above being right? What if you decided to give that issue a rest, just for a year? Perhaps you could use this time to enjoy the simple pleasure of company, and the fun and celebration of being with people you love, seeing them for who they really are.
It might be, of course, that now is a time for you to rest in to the sadness of loved ones lost. A few days away from work need not be spent productively or cheerfully; perhaps hiding under the duvet and just being with your broken heart is what’s needed.
How does your spirit, your psyche find rest? What brings you that sense of coming home, to a place where all is well? Here is a link to one of my most treasured personal resources, the practice of Remembrance, generously offered here as a guided audio recording by Mark Silver.
And finally, as the Copenhagen climate negotiations come to a close this week, perhaps there’s a bigger question about what we as a society need to put to rest. Maybe it’s time to let go of continual material growth, perhaps it’s time to put the brakes on and take a breather, and assess full-heartedly where to look for our future progress.
However you relate to this time of year and whatever your plans, may you find the rest that you need.
The World Needs Your Passion, So…
1) What do you want to celebrate that you have done, been and achieved which has brought you here? Find that part of you which can acknowledge that you are allowed a well-earned, well-deserved break.
2) What could you build in that would allow you rest? A twenty minute walk by yourself to have some space from a chaotic family gathering… Allowing yourself to watch a film without it being for personal development… A sign up somewhere saying “You’ve bought enough presents already, now stop”.
3) What old stories are you ready to put to rest? Which are the mantras that go round and round, weighing you down and squashing your joy? Commit to this season being the time to let them go.
4) Leave a comment on this blog post, letting us know how you find ways of resting at this time of year. Is the rest you crave more physical, spiritual, emotional or psychological – or all of the above? When do you feel most restful, and when is it hard to find rest?
© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009
[Photo © Barrie Gordon]
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Very timely post for me Corrina. In particular, I liked your words around resting not necessarily being a physical stop. I would like time to be able to just potter around the home,doing some de-cluttering and getting myself organised for next year. I’d also like to read more non- personal development books! I used to read tons of fiction and can’t remember the last time I read a good book.
Can feel myself slowing down already. Thank you for a very thoughtful post.
Janice Robertson´s last blog ..What Will Make You Happy?
Last Christmas I spent 7 days in a mud hut in a wood in Wales without electricity or mobile phone reception. I learned how to chop wood and kindle fires in a damp climate… I collected drinking water from a bubbling brook… I took a fire bath under the stars, surrounded by snow… and most importantly discovered that when the very process of living is immersed in nature and stillness, there’s no need to “meditate”… life IS meditation.
That week rejuvenated me enough to last this whole year!
For those without access to Welsh mud huts, I also highly recommend Vipassana meditation courses! (by donation)
PS – thanks Corrina! I just decided this morning to opt out of Christmas with partner’s family and honour my need to retreat and have some time alone for reflection…
@Janice – Pottering is under-rated, huh? Sometimes we go away for a break when actually what we really crave is mooching about, getting up late, going for wanders and doing all those little bits and bobs we don’t otherwise get a chance to do.
If you want some good fiction, I’m sure you could get a few recommendations here… My recent favourite has been Jodi Picoult but I had to stop after reading three of hers in a row as I was becoming addicted and they’re pretty hard-hitting!
ENJOY the slower pace x
@Vaishnavi – That sounds incredible, I get this kind of dreamy feeling as I read. I’m intrigued by what a fire bath is! And how beautiful… “Life is meditation”. Thank you so much for sharing this alternative vision of what this time of year can be about. If you ever offer these kind of retreats for others to experience, let me know – I’m sure lots of people would be interested.
Corrina´s last blog ..Give It A Rest
OMG!!!
Am writing a blogpost just about that…
I’ve been giving myself so much I haven’t managed to post it yet, the irony!
Will send you the link when it’s done.
Bahieh
Coach bahieh´s last blog ..Gift to self
@Bahieh – Ha ha, I have given up being surprised by synchronicities! So cool – do send us a link when you’ve posted. And congrats on your extra rest – how have you spent that time?
Corrina´s last blog ..Give It A Rest
Received this feedback from Sonia Di Maulo:
Reading your post has made me think back to many Christmas\’ past. Some good, others stressful, and still others fantastic. Your words have made me reflect on the topic of responsibility. Ultimately, I am responsible for my happiness! Going into this holiday season I have been reflecting on what I can do to make this season the best one yet, no matter what happens (what other people say/do. In fact, I want to be able to give back and find a family activity where we can support, as you did in Australia.
And your words have stirred creative reflection as well! I have come up with my next blog post topic! A very special gift that we should give each other this year: The Gift of Feedback tips on how to do that in a simple, cost-effective, fun way that will help bring people together).
For me all these activities will help me find peace, and this is what I will strive to do this coming holiday season.
Thanks Corinna for awakening these wonderful feelings and ideas!
Sonia Di Maulo, Feedback Enthusiast
http://www.readytofeedback.com
Corrina´s last blog ..Give It A Rest
Did you ever rest by watching TV – and then afterwards feel more tired? I used to. Every night in fact. But often we don’t need a rest – we’re feeling tired because we’re under-stimulated and our body has dropped to hibernation mode. When I feel I need a rest I first ask if what I actually need is a short term gearshift – or a long term full engine change – to stimulate my mind, body or soul to a higher level.
This startling realisation hit me hard a number of years ago and I expended much heart-ache incorporating this “rest becomes simulation” philosophy into my daily and hourly being. I mustered this ability alone but it surely would have been so much quicker and less painful with some like you around to help me!
So this Christmas I’ll be continuing on as normal, making sure I “rest” by continuing my marathon training, growing the amazing new friendships forged during the year and very intensely developing a website and Twitter strategy for my new NGO! Disclaimer advance warning: don’t mind me if I don’t deeply scrutinise your always inspirational and rousing Tweets to see how it’s done
Hi Corinna!
Happy New Year.
Just added you to my blogroll under the ‘Social action’ column!
Cheers, Bahieh
(from Switzerland)
Bahieh´s last blog ..::: Happy New Year :::
Sonia – It’s interesting that you’ve taken the perspective of ‘responsibility’ – how we get to choose the meaning we give to an experience, and pre-decide an attitude to take. I’d love to hear whether you found an activity like the one I participated in when I was in Australia. Thanks for mentioning me in your blog post and wishing you a very happy 2010.
Daniel – Ah the good old ’slump in front of the TV’ strategy – a deceptive one indeed. It’s a great journey to search for what truly unwinds us. I love Five Rhythms dancing – very active, full-bodied, and it spins all the anxieties and grumbles out of my mind so that my mind is left at rest, which means I feel properly rested. In what ways does your marathon training work for you, in terms of bringing you to a place of rest?
Wishing you all the best with your many activities – there’s something about being able to rest even when we’re externally busy because we can rest into the knowledge that we’ve found our path, and can drop all the stresses about ‘what am I doing with my life?!’
Thanks (I think!) for the acknowledgement of my Twittering…
Bahieh – Aw thanks! And a very happy new year to you.
Corrina´s last blog ..Give It A Rest