All our miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone – Blaise Pascal
Why is it so hard to dedicate a few minutes a day to still, reflective time? Virtually every client I have worked with has come with the belief that some kind of meditation would be beneficial for them yet has found it inordinately difficult to set it as a daily practice.
Here are three of the most common blocks – which can you identify with?
“It’s only ten minutes, how can that have any useful benefit?”
We seem wary of the simple approaches; we somehow have more trust in complicated, hard-to-reach remedies, like a retreat halfway around the world.
“I don’t HAVE ten minutes to spare. I’m a busy person and must use my time productively”
With our fast-paced life, any time off the treadmill and away from the to-do list can feel like professional suicide.
“It’s dull and boring”
Behind this is often a fear that WE are dull and boring; we panic about spending time with ourselves in the dark with no distractions.
So here are some strategies that my clients (and I) have found helpful in creating a daily practice:
1. Prepare a designated space the evening before: perhaps with a cushion, a candle and matches.
2. Use a timer so that you can relax into a finite ‘zone’.
3. Make a conditional rule for yourself. Hate that morning taste in your mouth? Set yourself a ‘rule’ that you have your ten minutes before you are allowed to brush your teeth.
4. Build it into your existing routine and ritualise it. If you always set your alarm for a five minute snooze in the morning, extend it to fifteen and move to a seated position for ten of those minutes, or decide that the first ten minutes of your commute is for your practice.
5. Use a prop. I listen along with an audio recording by business mentor and Sufi teacher, Mark Silver.
6. Give it a different name. Perhaps ‘Meditation’ feels serious and dutiful whereas ‘My Free Gift’ sounds sparkling and delightful.
7. Make it delicious. Burn vanilla incense and wrap a soft blanket around yourself.
8. If it all feels too indulgent, make it about others. Focus on it making you calmer in your work life or with your partner.
9. Buddy up. Ask your child or colleague to join you every morning.
10. Do it now. I have sat with a client in reflective silence in a coaching session, or asked my client to put the phone down and take a ‘time out’ chi kung break and then call me back. Having that visceral experience can make you more likely to want to repeat it.
It can also be helpful to remember that an agitated mind is repelled by anything which might calm it. Knowing this means we can acknowledge the resistance when it comes up and remember what our purpose is in instilling this habit – be it more calm, more effectiveness or more spiritual connection.
The World Needs Your Passion, So….
1) Would you like a daily practice? What would be its purpose?
2) What is your most common block?
3) Experiment with one of the ten strategies (and then another…. and another…..) and with other strategies until you find a ‘click’.
4) Leave a comment on this blog post, letting us know how you are doing with creating a daily practice. What are your struggles? What strategies suit you?
© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009
Been considering one-to-one coaching?
Click here to find out more about what is available and book your free consultation here.
Great post Corrina.
I have a morning practice that involves doing 10 mins qi gong in the garden, followed by 5-10 mins reflection (also in the garden), followed by 5 mins journalling whilst listening to a piece of music that moves me. It all takes about 20-30 mins and on the days when I am rushed, I cut everything down so that I still do 5 mins in total.
Being in nature is extremely powerful so it’s important to me to do it outdoors… even in the rain (well, I am British and a little eccentric so it’s fine!)
When I do this every day, I feel grounded, centred and connected to myself. The day goes more smoothly and I’m more focussed and efficient. I more than gain the 20 mins back by being more productive and focussed.
so on the days when I am resisting, I ask myself: Do you want to waste 20 mins today by not doing your morning practice?
Jude´s last blog ..Review of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Thanks so much for these great tips! They are perfectly timely! Just this week I have written out a timetable so that I get back into the routine of including yoga and meditation in my life. Stress levels have slowly crept up to a point where I literally *have* to take those few minutes a few times a week to get myself grounded again. It *is* so easy to say ‘oh,I don’t have time’, but like many other things, such as planning, taking time out to do it actually saves you time in the long run and makes your daily life more enjoyable and efficient. Have a beautiful day!
I struggled with this for such a long time, nearly 20 years. I knew I wanted a time of daily prayer – and didn’t make it happen.
Finally I realised that although I’m not a morning person, the only way to make sure this happened was to set my alarm half an hour earlier. Half an hour less sleep makes little difference.
So whatever time I need to get up I set it half an hour earlier. I shower first otherwise I’m not at all awake – apart from that it’s the first (and maybe best) part of my day.
When anyone mentions this I always ask if they have an alarm clock.
I now know that if I do without this time I’m missing out.
Rosalyn
Rosalyn´s last blog ..We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.
Finding time for meditation is so important. Even now after so many years of doing it I still find sometimes that I let myself believe that old chestnut of not having time to do it. In reality of course, taking time to meditate puts me in a frame of mind that enables me to achieve more that day. So really by taking that time for myself I am creating more time and space in my day. (I also use the affirmation ‘I have plenty of time to achieve everything I want to achieve today’, which helps!)
Here is my tip for being in the right frame of mind for personal practice, even on a day where there is a lot of work to do. Before I get out of bed I spend time in gratitude, listing all the things that I am grateful for. I used to use this time for snoozing between the alarms going off; making mental notes of how fantastic my life is and saying thank you gives me the same deliciously warm feeling as the morning snooze, and means that when I do get out of bed I am more positive.
Love & blessings
Kay x
Kay Gillard´s last blog ..October diary
@Jude – That’s impressive. And knowing you to be emerging more and more as a leader, I’m curious as to the knock-on effect on your leadership capacity of having such a practice? Also, what does the five minutes consist of when you cut it down?
@MissBest – Yes, timetabling in rather than expecting it to happen of its own accord can be powerful – not only time-wise but because it sends the message: This is a priority, it’s important enough to schedule. The stress levels point is great because stress compromises our immune system (as well as feeling rubbish!) Maybe that can be the new motto: Want a swine flu vaccine? Meditate daily.
@Rosalyn – That’s discipline. I also get the image of you having a really wonderful conversation. Mark Silver – who you recommended me to originally! – describes it as ‘teatime with the divine’, how we have to cultivate that relationship to experience the benefits. It sounds like you are putting devoted energy into a strong relationship that then supports and holds you.
@Kay – I like that, “let myself believe that old chestnut”. Isn’t it ironic that taking that time creates the time….?! Thanks for adding in the gratitude aspect and beautiful how it’s as delicious and warm a feeling as a snooze – it sounds even more so, even.
Corrina´s last blog ..My Free Gift
Couldn’t agree more! My daily kriya yoga meditation practice (and yes, I have done it every morning for the last five and half years) has transformed my life!
Apart from lots of health and well-being benefits (for instance I need much less sleep and my under-active thyroid is steadily improving) kriya yoga involves breathing exercises so you don’t have a chance to get bored.
The introductory programme – called Inner Engineering – which teaches a 21 minute daily practice,is held regularly in London and Birmingham, and I’d love to bring it to Cambridge!
If you want to know more, check out: http://www.ishafoundation.org
I’m so impressed with everyone’s daily practice – I still don’t have a regular daily practice. I find it a struggle with a small child and yet I could still do something once he is in bed. One thing I have made the time for is 20 minutes of Alexandar Technique – lying on the floor in supline position. I do try to do once a week one hour of Osho Meditation. I also do daily practice ‘stepping into my more powerful self’ but tend to do this on the go, as I’m walking or on public transport.
Beth´s last blog ..Seeing the other as Thou
@Pippa – I am continually inspired by your commitment to your daily practice. Thanks for sharing the link. You make an excellent point about never having a chance to get bored – I notice my distaste for boredom can easily stop me from sitting down to meditate, hence why I use an audio recording as a prop. Perhaps the trick is finding something more interesting than what the mind would get up to normally….
@Beth – Sounds like you have actually put quite a lot in place already. Congrats! What is it about the Alexander Technique that means you prioritize it? And what could help with the next step of making it a daily practice?
Corrina´s last blog ..My Free Gift
Just had a generous offer from a coaching colleague, Martha, who wants to offer readers this free downloadable relaxation recording:
http://primalbeauty.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/learn-the-art-of-relaxing-with-my-free-podcast/
Thank you Martha.
Anyone else who wants to share supportive techniques/props, as Pippa did with her link, feel free to include them in a comment below….
Corrina´s last blog ..My Free Gift
Your blog post has come just at the right time. I will ritualise it! XXX
Corrina!
Wow you’re blogs are always soo in-tune and a massive re-minder each time! Thank you for all the ideas and advice that you share!
Big Love to you xxx
Hello Corrina! and everyone!
Great post, thank you! I am always amazed seeing other people out there appreciating the benefits of meditation.:-) I’ve been meditating for almost 3 years now and can only say that this has been of enormous value for the quality of my life. Now I simply cannot imagine NOT to meditate. I meditate always in the morning for about 30 minutes, after waking up. Usually I do a still meditation or listen to some meditation music on my iPod or to a podcast. What I do find really important is to do different kind of meditation everyday, so that it does not get boring (especially important when you just begin to meditate).
Here is the link to some free guided meditation podcast, which I simply love:
http://download.meditation.org.au/guidedmeditations.asp
You can also download these podcast directly in your iTunes, just go to the section Podcast in your iTunes and type in “Meditation Podcast”.
Have fun!
Cheers,
Malgorzata
Malgorzata´s last blog ..The Power of Dreaming
Thanks for sharing these tips. I’ve tried meditation many times and always struggle to sit still and not get distracted. I shall give some of these a try.
@Richard @Poonam – My pleasure – isn’t it funny how the timing works out
@Malgorzata – Thanks so much for the link, a free gift indeed. Interesting point about choosing a different type of meditation every day; some have commented that they find regularity and familiarity comforting. What do others feel?
@Kate – My pleasure. Hopefully the resources that Martha and Malgorzata have offered might make meditation more interesting than any other distractions. I also love Five Rhythms dancing which is a moving meditation practice – maybe worth checking out…
Corrina´s last blog ..My Free Gift