We went to Austria for our summer holiday and for environmental reasons, we travelled there by train. It cost us around £800 door to door and involved two solid days on the train – each way.
I generally find train travel very pleasant and I was so looking forward to saying it was worth it.
I can’t. This was the height-of-summer busyness, both my partner and I had just come to the end of intense working periods and we just wanted to be ON holiday, not getting there. This was the third time we’d opted for the slow-travel route, following my pledge not to fly. Sam doesn’t travel well and despite dosing herself up with nausea tablets, was nearly physically sick. As I looked at her, enduring rather than enjoying, it hit me: Is this who I want to be? Someone who clings stubbornly to a moral position, ignoring the negative impact it’s having on my loved one?
In my article, From Carbon Footprint to Contribution Footprint (published in the July issue of The Ecologist), I wrote that creating a sustainable society is not just about creating a world we want to live in. It’s also about us becoming the kind of people we want to live with. Our ‘environment’ isn’t only trees, oceans, carbon dioxide; it’s also our relationships, our thoughts, the atmosphere that our actions create. Profound environmental contribution does not involve being ‘right’ and judging others for being ‘wrong’, nor is it about who is the biggest martyr.
We bought two flights home. Sam didn’t dread the return journey, nor did she experience nausea, and I discovered a deep appreciation for air travel. It went from being a black-and-white climate evil to being an incredibly rare and precious gift. How privileged was I that I could be that far up from our beautiful Earth, in awe of the twinkling European cities below me and the dark expanses of the English Channel. The whole journey I spent with my nose literally against the window, full of gratitude.
As women who care passionately about our world, we can feel overwhelmed. We want to help everyone and we want to do everything 100%. When this simply isn’t possible without a detrimental impact somewhere else, can we let ourselves off the hook? Can we hold on to an ideal AND make a hard decision?
As we make our positive contributions to the world, let’s help each other be loving and compassionate – with ourselves and the people around us.
The World Needs Your Passion, So…
1) Inquiry: Take a good honest look. What actions do you judge yourself for? Beat yourself up over? What does that inner critic say you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ do? Where are you holding stubbornly to a principle or standpoint when there’s a kinder, more loving option you could take?
2) Action: Once you’ve identified where it’s hurting you or someone else, take a deep breath and let yourself make that hard decision. Really notice the result.
3) Let us know what you discover..
Found this post challenging? Helpful? Inspiring? Irritating? – Leave a comment and let us know.
© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009
* Ready To Move Forward With Your Contribution Footprint? *
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This was a truly timely read! I had to be very honest and loving to me today, and your blog has really reassured me that sometimes plans do have to be changed, other priorities can be put first. Today I have stomach cramps, I also had appointments in town to keep and promised myself and my partner we could cycle in. Needless to say I was torn between doing what I thought I should be doing, and what I knew was the kindest thing for me. After unsettling deliberation I decided to move the appointments, and delay the bike ride. I curled up, watched a DVD I bought from a charity shop and felt so much more calm and rested…if somewhat guilty. So thank you for reminding me that sometimes it’s ok to change plans, and it’s ok to put my Self first.
Great post and good point!! Have often had this thought and dilemma. It’s about, as you say, a holistic sustainability and being smart with our decision making. I think also that us vegans have a few less carbon debts to worry about so the odd plane trip of car journey shouldn’t make us feel wretched, when 99% of the time we live consciously!
.-= Miss Best´s last blog ..‘How to be Free’ =-.
Thank you Corrina. I really enjoyed that.
As someone, like you, who has pledged not to fly, (and who hasn’t flown abroad for 10 years) I share very similar dilemmas and pangs around the possible negative impacts that my stance may be having on my loved ones. In very many ways:
Like will my children’s wider education and development be stunted because they have only seen France!
Like will they resent that their Dad put his carbon principles in the way of their happiness and enjoyment, or worse will they think my love for them was limited somehow, by my focus. Will they rebound – and become carboholics.
Like will my wife ever forgive the holidays she has never had, God knows she deserves some luxury she works hard enough.
I am lucky. It’s made much easier for me because not flying ‘goes with the territory’ if you call yourself a carbon coach. It’s not something I am self-righteous about, I hope, and i don’t recommend others do the same, that’s their call. But we must fly less. A flight is one of the biggest bits of carbon footprint – for people like us.
If I’d been in your situation, and many are, I’d probably have flown. But I’d also be looking at finding train travel that could be a delight, like Eurostar. Or destinations closer to home?
Because the truth is – or at least my truth – is that the world is very short of carbon leadership at the moment. Few people are acting as if they believe the crisis is as bad as they know it to be.
I precisely agree that we need to become the type of people we want to live with.
And the extent to which we can do that, without smoking fossil, will determine the odds on whether we get any chance to make those choices in future. i.e for our species to get to avoid climate catastrophe.
Having a big and positive contribution footprint is a wonderful thing, I aspire to it, and I pray i get there one day.
But on a finite planet with an atmosphere stuffed to bursting with CO2, our very survival depends on us maintaining resolve to set a low carb example – as shiny beacons of happy living ‘off the fossil’.
We need to remember we are addicted to oil, and our minds will be highly skilfill and creative at telling ourselves that we are a special case, that we can go on smoking fossil a while longer, (everyone else is) and that *our* contribution is so big it outweighs the carbon.
It will be a huge challenge to make these new judgement calls.
My sons look as if they might make it in international cricket. My eldest is 18, so he will now make his own choices, and I hope he will keep his flights to a minimum. I believe he will.
Sometimes some carbon will need to be burnt by people for some greater good. (And i don’t mean sport – that is his call and I will back him.)
But it will probably be much less, and much less often, than we are likely to tell ourselves
I’ll probably encounter a situation where I feel i have to break my pledge one day, on compassionate grounds, and I will aim to maximise my contribution footprint all the while meanwhile, but we are kidding ourselves and others if we don’t realise that ultimately we need to kick the carbon habit completely.
For clarity, I think its totally fine that Al Gore, Bill McKibben (350.org) Marianne Williamson, Lynn Twist, Dalai Lama, and others of that ilk fly whenever they have to. Their contribution is massive.
But I don’t think its fine for (e.g.) CSR Directors, Policy Wonks (or activists) to fly somewhere to save the world.
Summarising – I think it is easy – and commonplace – to underestimate how heavy is the carbon footprint – and easy and commonplace to overestimate how big is the contribution footprint.
Thanks for letting me air that….
Miss Best (nice name) you are right to say “that us vegans have a few less carbon debts to worry about so the odd plane trip or car journey shouldn’t make us feel wretched” absolutely right. Nothing need make us feel wretched!
And yes you have less carbon debt, but maybe not as much as you might think..
As a rule of thumb, one years worth of ultra conscious ethical vegan local natural package free stuff, compared to one years worth of meat eating and unconscious excess, will ‘earn’ you in the region of two tonnes CO2e – and that’s three to six hours in the air… for the year… a lot less than many vegans think!
I only say this as many highly conscious green eaters and shoppers seem to think their lifestyle is doing enough to earn them ‘a few flights’ but in truth just 6 hours in the air flight undoes all the good they’ve done for a year.
Hope that’s helpful.
this post was so true and tender. great stuff.
I’m inclined to think, you could’ve brought two cheap return flights for your money, and planted enough trees to offset the carbon emmissions five times over out of your £800. Of course, there’s the added impact of encouraging the cheap flights industry as a whole, and yet as you say, can you ever make a perfect decision, in a complex world?
.-= Nick Kettles´s last blog ..Bic’s tricks with pens, ignore children in the developing world, left twiddling their thumbs… =-.
Ha! Just today we had a debate about whether to take our 15m old son on a donkey ride on the beach. My partner said he didn’t want to support the men to drag the wretched beasts in the hot sun and make a fortune out of them. But I insited that we put our values aside and just think how much pleasure it might give our little boy. He did go on the ride and seemed very excited (if a little scared) and who knows, perhaps it will be one of his fond childhood memories one day!
There are many ways to approach a problem and I think a bad way to approach it is with an answer you already want in mind. Clear all the clutter out and start again: weight up the variable; ask yourself of the consequences and come to a conclusion that isn’t biased by your own personal opinions or prejudiced and the solution your reach with be one that is infinitely more sensible.
Great article. I love your clear reflections on letting it be complex — sometimes there aren’t simple answers, and we need to be okay with making what my mother calls “preferential love decisions” — recognizing that we sometimes need to choose one to focus on one person or thing that we love/care deeply about over another in a given moment, and looking for creative ways to continue to support that person or thing that we decided to let be a lower priority in that instance.
One thing you could consider as a way to mediate the impact of the choice to fly is to buy carbon off-sets. Many groups do this now, and some create a better “product” than others. One I know is good is at http://www.b-e-f.org/shop. (They have a good carbon calculator too.)
Thanks for your always inspiring newsletter.
re. the comments on ‘offset’
Yes offset or ‘buying a tonne of carbon saved for a tenner’ is not a bad thing to do – as a ‘make up’ – but it’s always better not to pollute
Beware as a few greens are now quite vocally anti ‘offset’ with good reason. The offset dream was never quite the same after an absolutely hilarious (and rather uncomfortably true) valentine’s day spoof – called ‘cheat neutral’ – it’s still up – http://www.cheatneutral.com and well worth a look and a laugh.
Quite relevant to love and carbon too?
Please by all means donate as much money to the (better run) ‘offset’ companies as you wish, but beware of the ‘kick the dog and then donate to RSPCA’ syndrome.. thanks
Hey Corrina – nice post
made me think along the lines of “…. And the girl becomes the woman ….” I know that could sound patronizing – and it’s not meant to!
It’s more that this new position you’ve come to shows a very rounded, mature and pragmatic side coming thorugh. Sure there’ still real passion, genuine caring, core at-heart idealism – and there’s the seeing outside and beyond that. There’s still passionate keeping it real – and there’s less “teen-type” narrow-focused zeal.
I guess the trick is how to make compromises without feeling compromised!
lots love, passion and play. Oh and remind me to update my blog again!
Annie xx
.-= Annie Wigman´s last blog ..15. Perfect Pancakes … Perfect Timing =-.
@S – Honest… Loving… Kind…. Calm. Sounds like your decision hit on these priorities. Isn’t it interesting to note where we feel guilt for not doing what we feel we ‘should’ do – yet others wouldn’t judge us in the slightest. Keep taking care of your precious self.
@MissBest – I know it’s a common dilemma and one that it sounds you approach consciously. Your vegan B & B in Sweden is one of those items on my list that *may* get us in a plane again, although I know there are land-sea options from the UK….
@Dave – Wow, I feel the power of the dilemma for you, with so many factors tugging you in different directions, and I also hear your absolute commitment to carbon leadership. You’re absolutely right when you say there is little of this out there. Rob Hopkins, founder of the Transition Town movement, does video link-ups rather than flying to conferences – I would like to see this same leadership from the people you mention e.g. Dalai Lama or Marianne Williamson. I didn’t fly because I felt I was ‘entitled’ to, but because in that moment it was the most loving thing to do. For me, the ‘contribution footprint’ concept is not about measuring one person’s impact versus another’s; it’s about each of us fulfilling our unique potential. I want to acknowledge you for making what I’m sure are hard decisions on a daily basis and for helping others to live lightly on our Earth.
@Nick – “Can you ever make a perfect decision in a complex world?” – great question. Each of us has such a unique set of values, each circumstance is unique – I would hope to be, as you say, ‘true and tender’ each time and find peace with each decision I make. Thanks for linking to your blog – you know the respect I have for you as a writer who continually challenges ‘greenwash’ and ‘hidden’ goings-on. [Golly you've inspired a lot of inverted commas!]
@Roma – Like with S, isn’t it interesting when the timing of these blog posts hits on what is true for others. Thanks for painting the picture… I can’t even imagine how hard it is to make decisions when you have a child – your values, your partner’s values, the people and advice around you. Knowing you as I do, your independent thinking will be blazing a trail for your little one that stands him in great stead for making bold decisions in his own life.
@Stuart – “Clear all the clutter out” – I’m guessing by clutter you mean our prejudices, our preconceived thoughts, our default decisions. And in your experience, are there aspects which stay? Values which are permanent, which are left behind when the others are gone? Which can’t be cleared out because they’re the very essence of you?
@Tasha – I love your mum’s phrase – ‘preferential love decisions’ – I’m gonna use that
And very rich point about continuing to support whatever you give lower priority to. I chose to use a photo from the train from Zurich to Innsbruck to accompany this post, supporting the segment of our train journey that was phenomenally pleasant (we were in a first class panoramic carriage for three hours and the scenery was breathtaking). That photo is my nod to train travel, acknowledging where it can be hugely pleasant (a delight, as Dave says).
@Annie – I said exactly that myself when we walked away from buying the train tickets: I felt like I just grew up. That’s because we DO have complex decisions as adults, whereas as a teenager, I was a feisty “This is right, This is wrong” kinda girl. That value-based, idealist passion has stayed, tempered now by the maturity to assess in the moment, step outside of black and white. So you’re spot on. Oh – and update your blog again, woman! I miss it!
@Corrina – indeed, our prejudices, biases and preconceived thoughts. And of course there are values which stay with us but I question the nature of their permanence. For some it might be true that values (etc) are permanent, but I wouldn’t call this as a necessarily positive thing. Sure you must have an idea of what is right, but in the end surely one must judge each situation and the choices available on their own merits.
For example – travel by aircraft. You suggest this is a bad thing, and yes, the massive amount of air travel contributed significantly (ish) to carbon dioxide saturation. However, is it ALWAYS bad? I’d hope you’d agree not. I think by choosing to fly home you made a right decision given the circumstances.
By suggesting to ‘throw out the clutter’, I merely meant not to view travelling by plane as the work of the metaphorical devil by default.
I’m rambling! It is my nature
Thanks Corrina, sincerely, for your generosity, compassion and acceptance of my views. It’s great that you give some ‘air’ to this taboo topic, and help show us a warmer way to cool the planet?
My broader take on all this is that the majority of people still don’t have any clue just how much damage each flight is doing. I remember people in the streets being questioned about it in TVs “Is God Green”. In developing countries the common view was that modern aircraft *must* be very low on pollution, because you don’t see any soot or smoke, (so must be better than old rail system… wrong!)… but much more important, that it must be low pollution because advanced nations in Europe and USA were developing it!
Thus we avoid the air-travel taboo.
We need to want to fly less, happily.
On a positive note, we have the technology to indulge our wander lust in an enduring resilient and zero fossil carbon way… the ethical future of long distance travel will be airship. It won’t be fast, but it can be clean.
Oh yes.. I too struggle with the dilemma of being green and alongside hearing and honouring my own, my partner’s and family’s needs. It is all too easy to feel overwhelmed by the responsibility to make changes and take it ALL on.
When I had morning sickness and had to eat whatever I could manage, I still felt guilty for the amount of plastic from readymade meals and that I had no energy to wash and recycle them, and could not expect my dear husband to live by my values.. I would feel it every time I binned something.. and I sure didn’t need to feel a lot more at that time!
I am finding Mark Silver’s work and the practice of remembrance really helps me find more compassion and mercy for myself, though its a hard habit to break!
@Stuart – In coaching, by ‘values’ we mean those qualities that make up our essence – those qualities that are so unmistakably ‘us’. This is different from morals or principles which – like you say – are amended throughout our life as we gain new experiences, get new information and have to make decisions about specific circumstances with unique factors. Thanks so much for contributing your clarity to this discussion, I’ve really appreciated you ‘being here’.
@Dave – I love that: a ‘warmer way of cooling the planet’!! Yes yes yes! It’s interesting the mirrors, the irony – let’s avoid too much hot air, anger and rage when aiming to cool the planet and let’s avoid burn-out when we’re wanting to champion sustainable energy!
@Caro – Urgh I can only imagine how that felt, bless you!! Again, when others are involved things aren’t cut and dry. I think a lot of compassion is needed around this whole topic – like here, compassion with yourself that 100% just wasn’t possible in the context of morning sickness! Hear hear to everything Mark Silver does – have you seen he’s offering a free telecall on the Heart of Business? Here’s the link: http://www.tinyurl.com/nhaz6y to register; I plan to be there!
.-= Corrina´s last blog ..The Thing About Wake-Up Calls =-.