What is your approach to turbulent times?
What do you do when things go pear-shaped?
Many of us have been feeling an abundance of challenges lately with the recession and with environmental and societal crises. There’s a lot that doesn’t feel safe about our world and it can be tempting to withdraw and struggle along quietly and alone, which in turn can increase our sense of isolation, despair or panic. All this, of course, on top of the usual challenges of being human.
Danielle Mills felt the impact of the recession on her business, BrightSpark Recruitment. After a brilliant initial two years, which she describes as “everything I thought it would be”, times got tough. She found that cash-flow became very difficult and she was terrified that she wouldn’t be able to pay her workers; she saw many others in her industry fall by the way and she would wake up with dread, wondering: “What do I have to face today?”
She is now breathing a tentative sigh of relief; work has dramatically picked up and she is celebrating her fifth year of self-employment. So what kept her going through what she describes as a “painful, awful time”?
Well, she made some classic business-savvy manoeuvres like watching trends in her industry and diversifying accordingly. She made her motto: “In the quietest time, make sure you’re shouting loudest”. She also kept a long-term perspective so that when the current day was hard, she thought forward to a time when it would be easier again.
But what struck me most about Danielle’s story is how human she allowed herself to be and how able she was to acknowledge that she was really struggling. She leant into her networks, both offline and online, and directly asked for help. She was able to say “This is massive and hard – anyone else feeling that?” and she received both empathy and practical advice. She surrounded herself with what she calls “realistically positive” comrades and as well as receiving help, she also looked for opportunities where she could help others. She was honest with her workers, explaining how difficult the situation was and not promising anything, and she went the extra distance with the companies on her books – reaching out and offering her expertise to help them. She invested a huge amount of time and energy, without immediate financial gain, in order to ease others’ situations and build relationships.
Underneath all of this is the foundation that she is passionate about what she does. She has been fiercely persistent and doggedly determined because she knows that her work helps people and brings them peace of mind. She gets immense satisfaction from the impact she has on people and says that while there are still “loads of challenges”, the benefits outweigh them.
No-one said that following our passion would be easy. Turbulence and turmoil are part of the course, even before you’ve thrown in the economic challenges and others around us. If we want to do what we love, we would be wise to develop our resilience and our unique approach to hard times. What do we want these struggles to mean? Perhaps they bring us closer to others. Perhaps they help us become more compassionate and understanding of others’ pain. Perhaps they reveal to us qualities we hadn’t realized we had. Perhaps they simply remind us that we are all human and we’re all in this together.
The World Needs Your Passion, So…
1) Where are you really struggling? What do you need to ask for help with? Who can you ask and how can you ask them? What would stop you from doing this?
2) What about the people around you who are struggling? How can you help them? What would stop you from doing this?
3) Scroll down and leave a comment on this blog post and let us know: Do you find it easier to ask for help or to offer it? How are you with admitting that you’re struggling? How easy do you find it to witness other people’s struggles?
What are you fearful about struggling with that would stop you from starting your own venture? In the Kickstart Your Venture workshop, we explore possible obstacles – both internal and external – that you and the other workshop participants have. Together, we then find ways for you to approach these so that they don’t stop you from creating the venture you’re passionate about. Find out more & book your place here > > >
Not around for the workshop or prefer one-to-one support? Find out how individual coaching can help you here > > >
Danielle was interviewed recently as part of my Inspirational 100 project. Find out more & get involved here > > >
© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2010
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I’m presenting some workshops next month and was struggling to get down to the design. I realised that it was less exciting for me to do these alone and asked for volunteers to help me, in exchange for half the fee.
I’ve received 3 offers of help and now feel much more energised.
Rosalyn
.-= Rosalyn´s last blog ..No cost career coaching for unemployed professionals =-.
Hi Corrina,
Thanks for this timely article. For me, the struggle is in recognising that I’m struggling. Often, it’s only when another person says “you need help with that” that I realise how much responsibility I’ve been shouldering. It’s a coping mechanism that has helped me survive. What I’ve found recently is that by stating “I’m feeling stressed” (or whatever I’m feeling) it opens me up to receiving which is something I find hard to do, or, rather, hard to do gracefully!
It always amazes me how timely your posts are Corrina! Great timing for me to read this article. Actually, this week I have asked for help twice (which is a big deal for me!) and it’s amazing how much it can help on so many levels. Things get done, which gives me new energy for other projects, and it helps me realise I am not alone.
Thank you!
xx
Rosalyn: I love your idea of asking for volunteers to help design your course…how inspiring!
.-= Miss Best´s last blog ..Stir, Don’t Fry! =-.
Rosalyn – I hear that with you asking for help not only eased the struggle but also brought some excitement, energy and (I’m guessing) connection. It’s almost like the struggle opens up opportunities. I imagine you’ll relate to when Mark Silver (Heart of Business) describes our human struggle as the Divine wanting us to draw closer.
Julia – Glad it was timely! And what a beautiful point – that being honest and acknowledging the truth of a situation can open you up to receiving. This post was in many ways written for myself: As a coach, it can sometimes feel that I have to portray this image of being fixed, sorted and perfect. It’s not true that this is what a coach is (thank goodness!) and I was feeling very far from that myself last fortnight so it was healing for me to write about how we are all in this together and how our struggles can actually bring us into more authentic, equal relationships with others.
Johanna – A big acknowledgement to you for asking for help, especially as it’s a big deal for you. As with Rosalyn, there’s that idea of more ENERGY coming in when you ask for help. I am always amazed by how much more quickly and easily a project can get done if you enroll a few willing helpers e.g. with gardening – I’d never get started but if someone else is there, it just feels a breeze.
.-= Corrina´s last blog ..I’m Struggling, You’re Struggling =-.