Comments on: No Bad Parts: How To Handle Criticism & Other Attacks http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/ Thu, 17 May 2012 19:50:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Corrina Gordon-Barnes http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-1753 Corrina Gordon-Barnes Mon, 02 May 2011 12:39:59 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-1753 Claire - Haha delighted to accompany you with your washing up! I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing such an onslaught of both internal & external criticism. You're certainly not alone in that and it reminds me of this great saying: "No-one said this journey would be easy; they said it would be worth it". In terms of not earning much yet, hopefully you'll find some helpful frameworks suggested in the other blog posts here, as well as the 3 x free audio classes you can access at: http://youinspireme.co.uk/writing-and-audio/audio/ Stay connected! Claire – Haha delighted to accompany you with your washing up! I’m sorry to hear you’re experiencing such an onslaught of both internal & external criticism. You’re certainly not alone in that and it reminds me of this great saying: “No-one said this journey would be easy; they said it would be worth it”.

In terms of not earning much yet, hopefully you’ll find some helpful frameworks suggested in the other blog posts here, as well as the 3 x free audio classes you can access at:
http://youinspireme.co.uk/writing-and-audio/audio/

Stay connected!
Corrina Gordon-Barnes´s last [type] ..Whose Money Don’t You Want

]]> By: Claire Stone http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-1743 Claire Stone Thu, 28 Apr 2011 09:48:57 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-1743 I really loved the video - it meant that I could benefit from your wisdom whilst doing the washing up - always a bonus! I find that I am getting critcised on all fronts at the moment; from my husband who is worried that i am not earning much yet (and who quite rightly is feeling the financial pressure of that) to my mum who worries about me in general, always! And then it's mainly my internal criticism, which is the most daft - I always run anything I do in my head against the 'too wacky' standard of my exboyfriends dad! insane! this has really helped me a lot! thank you! I really loved the video – it meant that I could benefit from your wisdom whilst doing the washing up – always a bonus! I find that I am getting critcised on all fronts at the moment; from my husband who is worried that i am not earning much yet (and who quite rightly is feeling the financial pressure of that) to my mum who worries about me in general, always! And then it’s mainly my internal criticism, which is the most daft – I always run anything I do in my head against the ‘too wacky’ standard of my exboyfriends dad! insane! this has really helped me a lot! thank you!

]]> By: Corrina http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-1612 Corrina Thu, 17 Mar 2011 14:03:47 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-1612 Judith - You are so welcome here! Thanks for sharing - I know lots of others reading will identify with what you say. And yes there are fantastic inspirational happenings afoot, it's just about tuning in to them ;) Stay connected and keep reaching out - we're all in this together. Judith – You are so welcome here! Thanks for sharing – I know lots of others reading will identify with what you say. And yes there are fantastic inspirational happenings afoot, it’s just about tuning in to them ;) Stay connected and keep reaching out – we’re all in this together.

]]> By: Judith http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-1608 Judith Sun, 13 Mar 2011 03:10:08 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-1608 Thank you very much Carrina - and commenters - I've only recently found your site following a facebook link for your 12 steps to business heaven teleclass (have downloaded recording but not listened properly yet), and started browsing your blogs in short time slots.. I'm really enjoying them and the comments as well, as finding thought-provoking and supportive. Useful links too eg to the Hub (which I looked at and felt quite shocked seeing how much is being innovated 'out there', it really highlighted how I've been hiding myself & I felt self-critical plus envious) I still find criticism very difficult, although there is improvement. I notice that there can be a number of positive comments and one negative and it's the negative that I'll be most aware of, tho learning to make effort to balance the picture, as I would easily do for my mum or a friend. A 'critical' comment seems to cause a contraction in my insides and trigger a deep seated fear that somehow it's a total rejection, so I'm practising knowing everyone makes mistakes and it's fine, it's actually how we develop (that great quote, something like: 'show me someone who makes no mistakes and I'll show you someone who doesn't make anything!' Feedback is SO important, and having done Turning Point course (www.soulpurpose.org) I'm finding more and more that there's usually a huge relief in honest speaking, both ways, and strangely can bring people much closer even if it's really scarey and does hurt, as long as it's said with positive intention. An agreement to speak and receive openly makes it much easier, as does an understanding that we create all our experiences for our growth. I find the NVC (Non Violent Communication) model very helpful too, that we can be having "giraffe ears" ie hearing accurately or "jackal ears" when we hear our own version of what's been said, and which can mean we hear criticism/feel criticised when no criticism was intended. Basically it comes down to feeling separate doesn't it? - if we feel at one with the other person there is no feeling of adversary and nothing to defend from or attack. And feeling unconditionally lovable, loved simply for being rather than what we do means that any criticism is about an action, not about us personally. Oops I've got rather carried away with this - very relevant and interesting area to investigate. Thanks again. Judith :) Thank you very much Carrina – and commenters – I’ve only recently found your site following a facebook link for your 12 steps to business heaven teleclass (have downloaded recording but not listened properly yet), and started browsing your blogs in short time slots.. I’m really enjoying them and the comments as well, as finding thought-provoking and supportive. Useful links too eg to the Hub (which I looked at and felt quite shocked seeing how much is being innovated ‘out there’, it really highlighted how I’ve been hiding myself & I felt self-critical plus envious)
I still find criticism very difficult, although there is improvement. I notice that there can be a number of positive comments and one negative and it’s the negative that I’ll be most aware of, tho learning to make effort to balance the picture, as I would easily do for my mum or a friend. A ‘critical’ comment seems to cause a contraction in my insides and trigger a deep seated fear that somehow it’s a total rejection, so I’m practising knowing everyone makes mistakes and it’s fine, it’s actually how we develop (that great quote, something like: ‘show me someone who makes no mistakes and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t make anything!’
Feedback is SO important, and having done Turning Point course (www.soulpurpose.org) I’m finding more and more that there’s usually a huge relief in honest speaking, both ways, and strangely can bring people much closer even if it’s really scarey and does hurt, as long as it’s said with positive intention. An agreement to speak and receive openly makes it much easier, as does an understanding that we create all our experiences for our growth.
I find the NVC (Non Violent Communication) model very helpful too, that we can be having “giraffe ears” ie hearing accurately or “jackal ears” when we hear our own version of what’s been said, and which can mean we hear criticism/feel criticised when no criticism was intended. Basically it comes down to feeling separate doesn’t it? – if we feel at one with the other person there is no feeling of adversary and nothing to defend from or attack. And feeling unconditionally lovable, loved simply for being rather than what we do means that any criticism is about an action, not about us personally.
Oops I’ve got rather carried away with this – very relevant and interesting area to investigate. Thanks again. Judith :)

]]> By: Trivia http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-1280 Trivia Wed, 02 Feb 2011 13:21:35 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-1280 Hello I'm loving your blog, you're really good at this. Well, i think criticism is a form of attack when you can see that it's negative, this means it's not meant to help you..it's just to arm you. If you have a low self esteem almost every critic comes as an attack. I noticed that when i believe a little less in myself that critics are harsher and sometimes I just loose my will to do whatever I want to do. If i can understand the critic and think i can do better, i feel like working hard, but if i can't see another solution..i just stop. Sometimes critics, even if they're suppose to help you, can block you. At least this is what happens to me. And i have the same problem that Kari has. I'm an Art student so you can understand how much critic i have to handle and i really don't want to be part of a world that it's mostly fake, where people are smiling just to get something. But if i want to share my art ..i guess i have to deal with this right? :P So i guess that's why i saw the video and i must say that i liked it. I'm going to make a list. :P Hello I’m loving your blog, you’re really good at this.

Well, i think criticism is a form of attack when you can see that it’s negative, this means it’s not meant to help you..it’s just to arm you. If you have a low self esteem almost every critic comes as an attack.
I noticed that when i believe a little less in myself that critics are harsher and sometimes I just loose my will to do whatever I want to do. If i can understand the critic and think i can do better, i feel like working hard, but if i can’t see another solution..i just stop. Sometimes critics, even if they’re suppose to help you, can block you. At least this is what happens to me. And i have the same problem that Kari has.
I’m an Art student so you can understand how much critic i have to handle and i really don’t want to be part of a world that it’s mostly fake, where people are smiling just to get something. But if i want to share my art ..i guess i have to deal with this right? :P

So i guess that’s why i saw the video and i must say that i liked it. I’m going to make a list. :P

]]> By: Corrina http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-875 Corrina Fri, 22 Oct 2010 18:46:30 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-875 Ah thanks Leslie - and good to see your face in your gravatar too! Every level of connection brings something new. Delighted you enjoyed the video. I wonder what would help you get curious about the close-to-home criticism as well....? Ah thanks Leslie – and good to see your face in your gravatar too! Every level of connection brings something new. Delighted you enjoyed the video. I wonder what would help you get curious about the close-to-home criticism as well….?

]]> By: Leslie Avon Miller http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-874 Leslie Avon Miller Fri, 22 Oct 2010 15:49:51 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-874 It was fabulous to get to listen to you! I notice that if the criticism is totally ridiculous, I simply become curious about it, because I know its not true. If the criticism is close to one I think too (even subconsciously), I can be more wounded. Thanks Corrina! It was fabulous to get to listen to you! I notice that if the criticism is totally ridiculous, I simply become curious about it, because I know its not true. If the criticism is close to one I think too (even subconsciously), I can be more wounded.
Thanks Corrina!
Leslie Avon Miller´s last [type] ..The Most Important Art Tool

]]> By: Corrina http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-832 Corrina Fri, 08 Oct 2010 09:43:26 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-832 Cynthia - Ah my pleasure, I'm so glad the video was helpful - and good to hear that the inner criticism is not as strong for you as it was. "I'm as perfect as I need me to be" sounds like a useful affirmation :) Cynthia – Ah my pleasure, I’m so glad the video was helpful – and good to hear that the inner criticism is not as strong for you as it was. “I’m as perfect as I need me to be” sounds like a useful affirmation :)

]]> By: Cynthia http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-831 Cynthia Fri, 08 Oct 2010 03:28:45 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-831 Wow! Dynamic presentation. I have tons of internal critics and those are so much more damaging than those from others. I don't need to have anyone tell me what they don't like about me--I've already filled in the blanks for them. Although that's still somewhat true, I realize it isn't as strong as it once was. That causes me to want to understand why it's not as severe as it once was. I think it has to do with some great coaching I've been getting and recognizing that I'm as perfect as I need me to be. That may not make any sense but it works for me, somehow. Thanks for giving me something so interesting to ponder and clarify my thoughts. Wow! Dynamic presentation. I have tons of internal critics and those are so much more damaging than those from others. I don’t need to have anyone tell me what they don’t like about me–I’ve already filled in the blanks for them. Although that’s still somewhat true, I realize it isn’t as strong as it once was. That causes me to want to understand why it’s not as severe as it once was. I think it has to do with some great coaching I’ve been getting and recognizing that I’m as perfect as I need me to be. That may not make any sense but it works for me, somehow.

Thanks for giving me something so interesting to ponder and clarify my thoughts.

]]> By: Corrina http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/no-bad-parts-how-to-handle-criticism-other-attacks/#comment-351 Corrina Thu, 22 Apr 2010 15:55:52 +0000 http://youinspireme.co.uk/?p=1539#comment-351 Annie - I really feel how much pain is here for you and I know also that you're a woman of great passion and vision and that you sincerely want to help people with your venture(s). I wonder what today's blog post, about deep inner listening to wisdom within, might have to contribute here? Thank you also for your recommendation of the Kickstart Your Venture workshop. It was wonderful to spend that time with you as our participant and to see you sharing your insights with others, and also receiving that 'gold dust' from them. Mark - I have the biggest smile on my face! YOU rock! :) Thank you so much for sharing and for allowing us to see you as close to in-person as we can get from this side of the pond. Shawna - Ah yes, being HUNGRY for criticism! Bring it on - it's all feedback. The story which inspired this blog post, about someone being exceptionally mean and personally attacking, has led that person to find so much inner strength. "If I can handle what you throw at me, then who knows what I can accomplish?" Do post a link to your project - I'm sure some people reading this blog would be happy to offer you the feedback you're wanting... .-= Corrina´s last blog ..<a href="http://youinspireme.co.uk/2010/whos-your-boss-really-a-deeper-level-of-decision-making/" rel="nofollow">Who’s Your Boss Really? A Deeper Level Of Decision-Making</a> =-. Annie – I really feel how much pain is here for you and I know also that you’re a woman of great passion and vision and that you sincerely want to help people with your venture(s). I wonder what today’s blog post, about deep inner listening to wisdom within, might have to contribute here?

Thank you also for your recommendation of the Kickstart Your Venture workshop. It was wonderful to spend that time with you as our participant and to see you sharing your insights with others, and also receiving that ‘gold dust’ from them.

Mark – I have the biggest smile on my face! YOU rock! :) Thank you so much for sharing and for allowing us to see you as close to in-person as we can get from this side of the pond.

Shawna – Ah yes, being HUNGRY for criticism! Bring it on – it’s all feedback. The story which inspired this blog post, about someone being exceptionally mean and personally attacking, has led that person to find so much inner strength. “If I can handle what you throw at me, then who knows what I can accomplish?” Do post a link to your project – I’m sure some people reading this blog would be happy to offer you the feedback you’re wanting…
.-= Corrina´s last blog ..Who’s Your Boss Really? A Deeper Level Of Decision-Making =-.

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