I was recently called a parasite.
I was having drinks with fellow coaches after a conference. We were laughing and chatting around a circular pub table when one of them said she’d been watching my business focus shift over the last few years as I’d moved from talking about the Transition Town movement and Green Party MPs to “how to make money”.
Passionately, she looked me in the eye. “You’re a parasite! You sold out.”
I could have been offended. But the funny thing is, I understood where she was coming from. If I had been her, I might have felt exactly the same. I might have thought that people who make money by helping others make money were like players in a pyramid scheme.
And it dawned on me: “Oh… you think I care about the money! You think that because I help people make money, my passion is for the pound signs. You think I stopped caring about all those things I used to talk about – like stewardship of our planet and community cohesion and personal empowerment – and started caring about money instead.”
Have you thought this too… about yourself?
I heard this perspective from the lips of someone else. You might have had a similar experience, or you might have noticed an internal dialogue along these lines, a little voice in your head saying that you’ll be judged as “selling out” if you start making really good money doing this good work. That your generosity and big heart will be polluted by focusing on profitability. That you won’t be a good person anymore if you care about making money. That you might go for a drink and get called a parasite.
So, this feels like a great opportunity to articulate the extent to which I care about money, and why it’s so important for you to focus on profitability.
Ready?
It’s precisely because you’re not doing it for the money that means you need to make good money doing this good work.
I’ll say that again: you’re not doing it for the money, and so it’s important that you make money.
You’re not doing it for the money – and yet until you earn a solid, consistent income doing what you love, you can’t keep doing this work. You have to do other work that is less fulfilling in order to pay the bills.
It’s not about the money and yet until you make money, it’s about the money. See the irony?
We need to address the money piece so that we can get back to what it’s really about. By keeping an eye on the profitability of our ventures, we can enable our work to truly be not about the money.
We have to allow the money struggle to fade away. We have to allow the other soul-depleting jobs to drop away. When you sell out your workshops, your sessions, your classes – that’s the only kind of selling out that is happening.
When you sell out in this way, you can forget about the money and focus on what truly matters. (Which is what – for you? Just pause right now and remember and know that you won’t lose this passion when the money starts flowing in. In fact, you’ll have far more brain space for it.)
By paying attention to money, we actually make money less important.
Here’s a parallel example… I used to lead an LGBT (les-bi-gay-trans) youth group in Cambridge. We met every Tuesday evening in a cosy room with sofas, games, books and hot drinks and we’d chat about school, careers, new romances, upcoming events, family issues – all the usual teenage stuff. One day, one of the boys said to me, “I love coming here precisely because it’s not about being gay. That bit which always marks me out as different at school? It’s just invisible here. It’s normal, it’s a given.” Because sexual orientation was the primary focus of the group, our time together became about everything other than sexual orientation.
By focusing on money to a healthy degree, you can make your life’s path about everything other than making money. You’ll find yourself free to focus on the people you are here to serve, the passion you are here to share, the unique message that is yearning to come through you.
I have a vision that one day it’ll be so normal for people to earn a healthy living doing work they love that I never have to write or speak about this subject again! Mine will be a redundant perspective, because it’ll be so obvious to everyone that it’s the only way a happy, thriving society can work.
And until then, while it’s still a rarity, I’ll keep doing this work and helping you with the kind of “selling out” that matters.
Over to you
Is it “selling out” to make good money doing good work? Is this an internal belief, or one you’ve inherited from others?
Or have you found that receiving a healthy income doing what you love is liberating and allows you to focus on what matters most?
Leave a comment below, join the discussion.
p.s. I have space for two more 1-1 coaching clients. If you’re keen to make enough money so you can dedicate your time to what matters most, click here for details. Or come and be inspired by a few of these Success Stories to get a sense for what coaching support could help you achieve.
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© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2012
Thank you so much for this article, it came at just the right time for me. I have a fledgling business which I am running as a social enterprise and I keep coming up against folks from all kinds of organisations and informal groups who want me to teach/ run workshops etc for shirt buttons or nothing at all. I have a part time job that I love but my goal is to become fully self employed doing good things in my community within the next few years. I am a lone parent,have children to support and rent to pay. Shirt buttons won’t help me. It would be great to earn enough for my family that I am able to give free workshops to charities and community groups who otherwise can’t afford them, but if I can’t look after my own then how on earth can I look after anybody else? I’m heaving a big sigh of relief now I have an argument to present to the do it for free or you’re not a real social enterprise brigade.
Hey Clare – I’m so glad you’re here. And I salute and send all power to your goal: “to become fully self-employed doing good things in my community” – YES!
Hi Corrina,
Brilliant brilliant brilliant.
It’s funny that this never comes up when you are employed. It’s only ever a self-employed debate. When I worked for a large corporation, clients paid the company for services and the company paid my salary. I never personally had to ask for the money but someone did somewhere along the line in order for me to be paid every month. And everyone always wanted a higher salary and to be recognised for the efforts they put in. there was no shame in that.
Now as a business owner, I work harder, my salary from my business income is smaller and I’ve cut out the middle man (the employer). I’m happy to ask for money in return for excellent service that makes a difference in the world. There is still no shame in that.
It’s the same for you. Businesses will fail unless we are comfortable asking to be paid for products and services. We’re essential to the economy which desperately needs our help! You make a difference that is really needed, probably in a greater way right now than before. If some want to perceive that as selling out, they can go ahead.
Gosh, it’s rare I go off on a rant but this feels an important topic. Go Corrina!
And go you, Jude! Thanks for the rant
That doesn’t even feel like a Rant, to me, Jude – it’s the flat-out Truth.
Karen J´s last [type] ..Getting it Right the First Time?
I love that you didn’t get offended. The way you help folks ‘do’ their money stuff so it stops feeling a struggle and frees them to focus is so eloquent. I’m guessing there are some other coaches out there who probably do some great work to help people with their money stuff but instead its packaged as a ‘How to make 6 figures in 6 seconds’ or whatever the current timeframe of choice is these days. These programmes make my skin crawl-but that comment may well be an indication of my own unresolved money stuff! Hey my dad was a bank manager so I’m bound to have extra money stuff still lurking! I’m hoping some of the money transformation coaches who deliver get rich quick stuff are reading your post.
Elinor´s last [type] ..Lyn Bromley shares her journey to a very stylish work/life balance
Elinor – I love, love, love Class 8 on the group programme where we delve into money stuff. When the group participants get really honest and come out of ostrich-mode, phenomenal things happen – as you’ll have witnessed, huh?
Corrina´s last [type] ..How To Make Self-Employment Easier
Hello beautiful!
This post couldn’t be more accurate.
My favorite quotes {all tweetables by the way!}
“It’s not about the money and yet until you make money, it’s about the money. See the irony?”
“We need to address the money piece so that we can get back to what it’s really about.”
This is an important post Corrina, you’ve done a brilliant job integrating your story into your mission and values. Kudos to you!
xo
Jac
Jac McNeil´s last [type] ..Could motherhood be the secret sauce for successful self-employment?
Hey Jac – Could I hire you to pull out the “tweetables” from my blog posts, please?
Totally agree! On a similar note, I was part of a group of coaches doing a workshop once. We were mailing one another afterwards and I said some warm words about the group. The roganiser asked if he could use the words as a testimonial, then two minues later sent another mail apologising for being mercenary.
I told him it was not mercenary – why should only the bad guys ask for what they want. Just like, why should only the bad guys get paid. Of course, life is not as simple as good and bad, but you know what I mean.
Devi´s last [type] ..You can do it – Yes, YOU!
Devi – Asking for testimonials is a great topic too. I teach it this way: you’re not asking for a testimonial for you and your ego; you’re asking because they help prospective clients feel reassured about getting support. It’s actually a generous act.
Corinna, great blog! You said it so eloquently that comments are almost redundant. And you turned a negative comment into a positive article! Good reframing there. Thanks for sharing
Thanks Rita! Great to welcome you here.
Lovely blog Corrina. I recently happened to tune into an online radio show which was addressing this money issue…I think the show is available for another few days: http://www.hayhouseradio.com/listenagain.php?latest=true&archive_link_type=link_mp3&archive_id=9444&show_id=257&episode_id=8689
I love being part of your group programme – you coach in a really loving way and I truly hope to make money doing what I love – because then I can continue to do it and hopefully gift people along the way too.
You are a very bright star x
Ani´s last [type] ..Feed your brain and improve your mood
Ani – And I love you being part of the group programme. Thanks for shining your light.
Corinna,
I agree – it would certainly be naive to think that just because you’re a committed, passionate, ethical person that you don’t also need to pay the bills, go on holiday, buy a cup of coffee now and again, and so on.
I also think that this really gets to the heart of what money actually is. It reminds me of a thought-provoking (and, naturally, free) book I read online (Sacred Economics by Charles Eisenstein), which was essentially about what the world would look like if money were sacred (though not in the sense that we idolised money).
In other words, what if we changed our economic systems so that they could be a driving force for social and environmental justice, rather than being a driving force for social and environmental damage, as they currently are.
The most relevant chapter here is probably this one, about creating an economy where everyone were enabled to do what they loved rather than just what they were paid to do.
http://www.realitysandwich.com/sacred_economics_ch_14_social_dividend
Hope you also find it interesting!
Elizabeth
Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth. Do you know Tad Hargrave? Check out http://marketingforhippies.com/guest-post-3-the-3-elements-that-make-for-a-profitable-niche/
(linking to him through my guest posts on there, nice!) – I first heard of Charles Eisenstein through him, think you’ll like Tad’s approach.
I felt taken aback reading this – almost winded. Because it’s so true. I grew up with a father who systematically let his family down by failing to make an effort to make money. He played at being self employed. He would then drink what little money there was at the pub, to suppress the guilt I suppose, while we would trail around the shops with our mum looking for cheap bits of meat.
I imagine how different things would have been for us had he been a success, and had an opportunity to enjoy financial success. Perhaps he wouldn’t have drunk himself to death. He would have been a different person. So, financial struggle has been the norm, it’s been hard wired into my brain right from babyhood. Releasing to let that go, eh…
I imagine how easy my life will be once I have the money to buy a decent computer for my work, to put a roof over the bits of the house that need a roof, to not have that huge anxiety basically sitting in my brain like a tumour. By bringing this out into the open, you’ve given me permission to begin feeling good about money.
No, I can’t save the world from my bed. Start a revolution in my head. I live in a village where everywhere I look there are people to help. But how much more helpful will I be once I have liberated huge parts of my thinking and conscience from the guilt of a)not earning enough money and b)earning enough money. Time for focus and being selfish my dear. And admitting that I need support.
Jo´s last [type] ..if i were a chimp
Jo – So beautiful to speak with you the other day, and so beautiful to know you’re creating new stories about money, success and self-employment that maybe one day your kids will post a comment on a blog about
Corrina, Thank you so much, I love your posts. We have so many weird and unhelpful beliefs about making money hidden “under the carpet”. You take the carpet away and let the sun shine brightly on it, so that we can see what it actually is: a heap of rubbish we need to get rid of! With your financial success you show the world that we can make money without selling our soul. I think that’s really hard for some people. There is no comfort any more in the justification “you can’t make money because you really want to help others”. But sometimes it is easier to blame you for “selling out” than face the truth that they could improve their life significantly if they would change their perspective.
Hey Jutta – I had a really beautiful exchange with the woman after her comment. I think there was indeed some relief in seeing what’s possible. It’s like that classic Marianne Williamson quote: “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine.”
ABSOLUTELY!
Basically, once we innerpreneurs succeed in making money – accepting it as an energetic response to the gifts we offer the world – we find ourselves in a place where we can freely focus on living out our passion. And as happy and contented individuals living out our passion with ease, we contribute to society and role-model our dream to our children in an authentic way.
Imagine the happy vibes emanating around the world if all those passionate about their work were feeling nourished financially! Oh, what a wonderful place it would be – la, la, la
xx
Alex
Thanks Corrina Gordon-Barnes!
Alex – YES! And by the way you should definitely connect with Elinor Wilde at http://www.theworkingmumscoach.co.uk/ – you both share a passion for the role modelling that women offer their children through their choice of work.
Brilliant article -I loved reading it and completely agree with you. It is good for us all to remember that the money is important for us to accept that we need it to live on, but the money isn’t the reason we do the ‘work we love’
Andrea – Delighted, and delighted to have you here.
Thanks for this great post – it really resonates with me.
I’m a (just qualified) yoga teacher and there can be a feeling in the yoga communuity that trying to make money from it is mercenary. But, as you put it so well, I’ll need to make a living and what can be better than doing so from something I love and feeling passionate about?
I spent my 20s and a good part of my 30s working full-time in jobs which never felt quite right or fulfilling but were pretty well paid. In the end my health suffered. I’m haven’t been working for a while but am just about to start a part-time job and am excited about beginning to teach yoga and embark on a path which I know feels right. OK, I’ve got less money, but I’ve never been happier! I feel in charge of my own destiny.
Stella Tomlinson´s last [type] ..Spring into life with yoga
Stella – Yay! My sister is a yoga teacher too and has been criticised by some of her peers for being business-minded. And yet it’s the truest honouring of our calling to free ourselves up to pursue it full-time. All the best with your self-employment. (Have you seen I write a monthly business column in OM Magazine, specifically for new yoga teachers?)
Stonking post, Corrina. You rock!
Great spending time with you last night Corrina – I totally agree with what you say – we need to make money so that we can sustain doing our good work and learning to be a gracious receiver is crucial too.
Hey Nick – Great to spend time with you too, and especially poignant that you’re commenting here, as you were one of my greatest inspirations for doing the work I was born to do. Speak soon.
This is a really interesting post, it touches on what I would label as a belief , which I can honestly say I have lived with for longer than I would like to admit. You go through many personal development courses and training, dropping in and out of spiritual spectrums and start to question (as i did) what’s better, going for the money? or meditating at the top of a mountain hoping someone will notice. I’m laughing as I write this. Then when the obvious urge to bring in some cash comes back, you start to question yourself and in my case, go back to square one, to go through all the learning again. Great, thought provoking post, belief changing too.
Jat Bhogal´s last [type] ..Describing problem situations accurately
Jat – “Going for the money” can be seen as another way of saying “going for providing a true needs-based service”. It’s that difference between a hobby and a business: that you’re positioning your passion as useful to someone else. Great to have you here.
Great post.
Next time you’re on a plane, listen carefully to the saftey drill. They tell you to first put on your oxygen mask before your can help anyone else. If you’re not breathing how can you support others?
Vinay – Welcome here. And I once heard a useful comment that fits your plane analogy: “If you want to be generous, it helps to be rich.”
When I read your post, part of me says, “You, Corrina, weren’t able to make enough money doing self-employed work you loved until you centered your business on teaching others how to make money doing work they love. It’s a big pyramid scheme in which only you, the teacher, generates sufficient income, but not the actual yoga teachers, health coaches, and chiropractors who are taught by you.” What would help me to satisfy that part of me are hard numbers and statistics: “Out of the clients I’ve worked with, this is the percentage of people who are now making a comfortable income which allows them to fully dedicate themselves to serving their tribe, without having to worry about money. I’d also like to see the percentage of people who were not successful at turning their passion to profit.
Another part of me trusts you deeply, Corrina. I’m grateful that you run your business intimately and transparently. I trust that you are generating value for your clients, and that they are in a better place after they’ve invested their time and money with you, than they were before. I’m saying “they”, but I really mean “I”. I’m currently working through your book which I find extremely helpful. I’m looking forward to my first coaching session with you during which we can proof the doubtful part of me wrong.
Hey Johannes. I love your rigour and I’m so delighted you’re finding the book helpful.
To respond: I was earning enough to be fully self-employed before I shifted to the business focus. It was an organic shift because marketing was something I’d learnt to do authentically and I realised I could help others with that too. You’re right that my business really took off after I’d shifted – but that’s because this is my trust calling and I’m so passionate that I can’t help creating products and services in this niche and I speak with the most conviction about this.
I don’t have the statistics that you crave and I can see why you’d like them. Perhaps in the future? And hopefully you’ll become one of them and inspire others.
Hi Corinna, I LOVE what you are saying, it felt almost as if this article was written for me. As someone in a ‘helping’ profession who is also trying to keep a roof over my head and feed 4 children as well as ‘making a difference’ in the world I receive so much negativity about “selling out” and “profiting from peoples’ problems”. My husband is a Locksmith, he helps people out and profits from people who lock themselves out of their house, but nobody looks down on him for earning a wage. As a soon to be published author I frantically nodded through your writing a book article too, So glad I found you – will definitely be reading more!
Hey Sarah – A big welcome here, I’m glad you found us too
What’s your book about? Huge congrats!
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I couldn’t agree with you more, Corrina. I’d only like to add that for some people (myself included) need to devote almost all of our free time to earning a living in order to be successful, leaving too little time left to do our causes. I recognize, however, that some people can compartmentalize their time and energy so they can make money AND spent time on endeavors close to their heart.
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