Does the word “strategic” bring you out in a cold sweat?
If you act from your heart and love to say “YES!” and flow with life, the idea of being calculated in how you share your passion may feel icky.
If you love to show up and see what happens, or share without thought of what might come back, strategy might feel at odds with that.
Let me share a secret
People tell me things they wouldn’t say to you.
When they know I hold everything as confidential, they say, “Truthfully? I’m exhausted. I’m burning out. I’m giving, giving, giving… without receiving.” They say, “I hate to admit this, but I’m starting to feel resentful of all these people who get stuff from me for free and don’t think I might actually need something in return.”
So, if you’re feeling any of this, you’re not alone.
But it leaves us with a dilemma. How can you stay open-hearted, but also get what you need?
What strategy really does for us
When you’re starting your business, your might feel an abundance of energy and it feels right to say YES! to everything. You’re excited about sharing your gifts, your desire to help is pouring out. But when you start reaching capacity and tipping into overwhelm, strategy can be a tremendous relief.
Strategy gets us intentional.
Strategy is about thinking things through, and thinking ahead.
Strategy means our cool head is looking after our passionate heart.
Strategy is about making clean decisions.
Strategy is about saying NO to certain people, requests and tasks.
I think about fire. We use a grate, we use a candle holder, to support and hold the heat and the light. Do we see that as heartless?
I think about sex. I picture a heterosexual couple, keen to make love but to not get pregnant. I see that without discussing how they’ll prevent pregnancy, it’ll be difficult for them to let go and be fully present with each other, in mind, body and spirit. Do we consider them heartless?
I think about being asked to give a talk. I’ve found it’s wise to get a clear, fair agreement in place; without that, something nags away at me and interferes with my relationship with the host and my sense of being taken care of. Is that heartless?
A sharp business mind takes care of a loving, generous heart
Without structures, boundaries, strategy and agreements, I’ve found it can actually be harder to stay in open-hearted connection. If we’re not confident our needs are going to be met, our focus is likely to go there, rather than to the relationship. When we know the deal, when we’re clear on the set-up, it’s easier to feel safe and free.
This is the paradox. Planning helps us go with the flow. Thinking about the future helps us be in the present. Being strategic in what we’re sharing holds open the channel for free sharing.
To serve the most people, in the most abundant ways, and to enjoy the most abundance flowing our way in return, it feels good to get strategic. It’s a decision from the heart.
Over to you
Have you said “yes” unstrategically… and then felt burnt out? Have you got resentful from giving without knowing how your needs will be met? I’d love to hear how you see the relationship between heart and strategy, so leave a comment below, let us know.
When heart meets strategy
I’ve been reading a lot of blogs recently, in preparation for the next group of Blog for Clients participants; many have heart and soul yet aren’t set up to lead to sales.
If you want to be savvy in your marketing, and don’t want to waste time on activities which bring nothing in return, then discover how to blog strategically. Blog for Clients opens for enrollment soon; get front of the queue here.
P.S. PASS IT ON
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© Corrina Gordon-Barnes 2014