If you’re self-employed, there’s a high chance at some point along the journey you’ve asked yourself, “Why is all this so damn hard?”

This may have included some shouting, screaming, hair-pulling, crying, throwing yourself around your house or bewailing to your partner or friends.

Yes? Been there? (Trust me, you are not alone.)

Okay, on the one hand, it’s obvious that the path of self-employment means there’s a lot to do. If you want a financially viable business, you’re basically creating a job for yourself and doing the job. You’re working in the business and on the business.

And that naturally involves a fair amount of hours, a considerable degree of brain power and enough creative juice. You don’t get to just lie about twiddling your thumbs, waiting for the cash to come flowing in.

But although your days can quickly fill up with clients, website updates, social media activity, strategizing, accounts, networking, follow-ups, giving talks, writing articles, maintaining a blog, designing packages and creating programmes, it’s actually not those tasks themselves which makes self-employment “hard”.

No. It’s when the inner demons come out to play

Posting a status on Facebook turns out to involve a whole lot more than ten seconds of typing. It triggers the fear of visibility, the yearning for acceptance, the desire to be “interesting enough”.

Sending a promotional email about your new workshop reminds you far too uncomfortably of inviting your school friends to your birthday party and feeling so mortified when only five of them showed up.

Pitching an article to a magazine reminds you of applying to university and getting the rejection letter. Following up with a prospective client takes you back to how awkward you felt when you clumsily told your crush you liked them and they said you weren’t their type.

These undercurrents aren’t always conscious, which is why we’re often left wondering what on Earth is wrong with us and why these basic business activities feel like walking through treacle.

They feel so hard because they wake up those little demons which decide to bounce around on your table, on your computer screen and inside your mind. Having stuff to do isn’t a problem. You’re intelligent, capable, talented – you can handle that. Having stuff to do which tugs on long-ago pain and brings with it an avalanche of emotion is a whole other matter.

So, be compassionate with yourself

Recognize you’re taking a brave path. Acknowledge that self-employment is as much about personal growth as it is about professional fulfillment or paying the bills. Give yourself a massive pat on the back. You’re birthing something here and birthing isn’t always pretty. But it’s worth it.

When the demons come out to play, pause and give them some attention. Sit with them for a while. Get curious about what needs to be looked at. Find what’s really making this task “so damn hard” and know that patterns can be changed and you are resourceful.

What tasks that “should” be easy have most plagued you, as you go self-employed? What remedies have you found? Leave a comment, let us know…

A brand new toolkit + a tried-and-tested programme

If you’re feeling anxious on the turbulent path of self-employment and want to feel more secure, check out the new Creating Safety Toolkit.

If you’re feeling isolated and want to share your business-building journey with like-minded others, check out the Turn Your Passion To Profit group programme (new dates just released; next group starts May 2012).

Want to receive alerts about these blog posts to your inbox, plus hear about special offers? Subscribe to my free newsletter here.

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2012

As the twelve women offered their feedback about what they’re taking away from this six month business-building course, they spoke about:

Tangible results – more ideal clients, flow of income, a brand new website, success at networking events.

Internal shifts – more self-confidence, greater calm, a feeling of support.

And it was strikingly obvious to me: This stuff works. Plain and simple – the programme works.

So I feel like one of those people who realize they make a totally delicious pasta sauce, vegan pizza or fruit smoothie and they just want everyone to taste it. Like it would be wrong to keep it to themselves.

So come and taste it!

Seriously. Nibble the description of the ‘Turn Your Passion To Profit’ group programme here:
http://youinspireme.co.uk/turn-your-passion-into-a-profitable-business/group-programme/

Taste good? Order a free sample. Which in other words means: book a free, no-obligation consultation. That’s done super-easily: simply fill out the enrollment application form at the bottom of that page:
http://youinspireme.co.uk/turn-your-passion-into-a-profitable-business/group-programme/

Filling out the form is useful in itself because you’ll get clarity about where you are right now with the journey of being self-employed… and also clarity about your ideas and what you want next.

And when you get into your free consultation with me, you get to talk about YOU and your dreams of running your own business. For 30-45 minutes. With someone who understands your concerns, challenges and hopes, and will fully listen to you and offer empathy, support and expert insights.

We might decide that the group programme isn’t the right fit for you right now. BUT if it feels like it is, and you like what you taste, then you can enrol and munch, munch, munch your way through all these tasty goodies (step-by-step business know-how group calls, buddy time, actual action steps, accountability and much
more) for a whole six months.

There’s even a No Risk Guarantee. The bottom line? You cannot waste money here. Ce n’est pas possible.

So… nibble, taste, maybe treat yourself to the whole delicious buffet.

I look forward to hearing from you! Book your free taste here:
http://youinspireme.co.uk/turn-your-passion-into-a-profitable-business/group-programme/

With love & respect,
Corrina

Have you experienced that? You’ve had that same idea nagging away at you for a fair little while now, tugging at you to take a closer look.

But when you do, it all just feels too overwhelming. You stumble when explaining it to others, you freak out when you think about whether you’re up to it and you have no idea where to start with all the practical and logistical aspects of this idea.

And finally, the biggest of all, the grandmother of all fears: MONEY. How on earth will you make a living out of this crazy idea?

Fear not, there is one very good solution: Forget about it. Put this idea out of your head – in fact, pretend you never had an idea at all. “La la la, I can’t hear you….”

This works very well. It means you get to stay right where you are and not deal with any of this, including with any of that fear.

It also means that you won’t get four years in to running a business, like me, and feel that scariness still showing up. You won’t schedule a workshop and find that less people sign up than you’d expected; you won’t experience fear gripping you, you won’t feel “Oh my God, no-one wants what I’m offering” shudder through you.

As I’ve been experiencing this fear and these doubts first-hand, I’ve been reminded of how very scary this whole offering-your-passion-to-the-world thing really is. You are putting yourself out there, on the line, on a regular basis. It can feel incredibly vulnerable and it can be very tempting to chuck it all in.

And because I’ve been experiencing this myself, a suspicion has dawned on me. As I look out on this frosty day, I have an image of all these ideas out there, frozen under the ice. Ideas that are so exciting and yet so daunting that they’ve been hidden away, determined to avoid being thawed out. Ideas for community activities… small businesses… projects… workshops… charities. Ideas that you would love to get into action about but which just feel way too big and clumsy and complicated and downright scary.

Well, guess what? I’m not standing for that. I know what that fear is like and I know that it feels horrible. I also know that it is absolutely worth it to do it anyway. Yes, you need to be courageous. Yes, you’ll need to overcome challenges. Seeing an impassioned idea into reality is certainly not always easy, but it is absolutely worth it.

I absolutely love what I do and I am so grateful that I get to follow my passion. This is why I want to share with you my fears so that you know they’re part of the journey – and that I would choose it again and again anyway. As I read the emails from those who’ve already signed up to the Kickstart Your Venture workshop, I am struck by the bravery as they take those first steps, and I urge you – if you’re in ‘can’t thaw/won’t thaw’ mode – to find that bravery yourself.

The World Needs Your Passion, So…

1) Sign up for the workshop. If you live within 200 miles of Cambridge and you have an idea that you’d like to get out of your head and just a little bit more out there in the world, sign up now. The workshop is taking place in central Cambridge on Sat 16th January, 10am – 4.30pm, £40 per person. You’ll receive a workbook and leave with clarity, solutions to some of your key challenges, energy, motivation, contacts and possibly even a few new friends.

Click here, scroll down to the ’Buy Now’ button at the bottom and pay for your place today.

2) Laugh at the scariness. Put on some dance music or whatever rocks it for you and move. You’re not abandoning that scared part of you at all – in fact the opposite – you’re standing eye to eye with the fear and going “Yep, there’s a whole lot of scariness right now… and you are NOT going to win”. Then dance and laugh some more.

3) Leave a comment, letting us know whether my suspicion has any truth… Has the scariness been getting the better of you? What’s it like to freeze an idea because it’s just too scary to think about? How much evidence do you have of feeling the fear and doing it anyway – and it being worth it? (and if you don’t have much, what could you do to find some more…?)

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2010

There may be a clear need for you to take some physical rest – to enjoy a well-earned break and just stop. You may have noticed that if you don’t build in enough downtime, your body takes charge and forces you into a halt. You may also discover that if you’ve been storming ahead at high speed, you find yourself succumbing to ‘relaxation illness’ – in other words, the moment you stop, you get that cold or flu which was being held at bay whilst on the treadmill.

But ‘resting’ might not necessarily involve a physical stop. When I lived in Australia, I volunteered at a homeless shelter on Christmas Day. It was relatively strenuous – setting up the hall, distributing food, clearing up afterwards – but being there got me away from my own drama and the loneliness I felt from being so far from home. It gave me some sanctuary, a time-out of sorts. It might be that your fortnight ahead is full of physical activity: wrapping, packing, traveling and lots of people. What rest can you find amid all that?

It might be that resting is about letting go of the exhausting old stories that you spin about yourself, stories like: “I’m no good” or “I can’t do this as well as her”. Perhaps now is the perfect time to tell that critical voice to go on holiday and leave you alone. Here is an opportunity to say farewell to old stories about what Christmas is meant to be about – whether that involves dropping a super-woman compulsion to get everything perfect, or releasing the need to purchase in order to show people you love them.

It may be that resting for you is about letting go of the fight. Is there a particular topic which you and your mother always clash over? What would it be like to decide to put being peaceful above being right? What if you decided to give that issue a rest, just for a year? Perhaps you could use this time to enjoy the simple pleasure of company, and the fun and celebration of being with people you love, seeing them for who they really are.

It might be, of course, that now is a time for you to rest in to the sadness of loved ones lost. A few days away from work need not be spent productively or cheerfully; perhaps hiding under the duvet and just being with your broken heart is what’s needed.

How does your spirit, your psyche find rest? What brings you that sense of coming home, to a place where all is well? Here is a link to one of my most treasured personal resources, the practice of Remembrance, generously offered here as a guided audio recording by Mark Silver.

And finally, as the Copenhagen climate negotiations come to a close this week, perhaps there’s a bigger question about what we as a society need to put to rest. Maybe it’s time to let go of continual material growth, perhaps it’s time to put the brakes on and take a breather, and assess full-heartedly where to look for our future progress.

However you relate to this time of year and whatever your plans, may you find the rest that you need.

The World Needs Your Passion, So…

1) What do you want to celebrate that you have done, been and achieved which has brought you here? Find that part of you which can acknowledge that you are allowed a well-earned, well-deserved break.

2) What could you build in that would allow you rest? A twenty minute walk by yourself to have some space from a chaotic family gathering… Allowing yourself to watch a film without it being for personal development… A sign up somewhere saying “You’ve bought enough presents already, now stop”.

3) What old stories are you ready to put to rest? Which are the mantras that go round and round, weighing you down and squashing your joy? Commit to this season being the time to let them go.

4) Leave a comment on this blog post, letting us know how you find ways of resting at this time of year. Is the rest you crave more physical, spiritual, emotional or psychological – or all of the above? When do you feel most restful, and when is it hard to find rest?

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

[Photo © Barrie Gordon]

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Start The New Year As You Mean to Go On

Have you just finished a training course and wondering how you turn your knowledge into action?

Had an idea on the back-burner for ages and now feel it’s time to see it into action?

Then it may be the perfect time to consider the Kickstart Your Venture workshop, next taking place in Cambridge on Saturday 16th January.

Click here for more information.

And if you know that someone’s struggling to think of a meaningful present to get you this Christmas, you could send them this link to the booking form and ask them to put “It’s a present” in the Comment section; they’ll then receive a festive voucher they can either email to you or wrap up and give you.

What does ‘respecting our elders’ mean for us today?

Meet Pippa. She’s 59 next month and while many women nearing 60 may have settled into a comfortable rut, heading for retirement, she’s out there looking for ways to make a difference.

A freelance writer and editor, she’s also heavily involved with the Transition Town and Be The Change movements and is perpetually busy dreaming up, organising and helping hands-on with events. This summer found her in Tibet trekking to 16,500 ft.

I was curious to find out what motivates her to stay so involved when she could be excused for reaching for her slippers and a TV guide…

What inspires you to be so active?

I’ve had a very full life, rich in experience with lots of change and some huge personal challenges so I’ve never developed any expectation of how my life ‘should’ be as I got older. Seeing my mother – who is now 90 – in poor health for many years, makes me all the more determined to be as fit as I can for as long as I can. I’m very committed to a daily kriya yoga and meditation practice, which means I have far more energy for the things that are important to me.

You certainly seem to be passionate about making a difference in the world. What is it that drives you?

Drew Dillinger wrote a poem that begins:

Those words haunt me. If I become a grandmother, and perhaps a great-grandmother, how could I face those young people when I’m 90 and their world is falling apart – knowing that I haven’t done whatever I could to raise awareness and inspire people to work towards an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling and socially just human presence on the planet?

What are your toughest challenges now?

Letting go of self-doubt and a preference for supporting others while staying in the background myself; finding the will and commitment to keep on doing the next thing that needs to be done, without being too tough on myself; keeping a sense of humour and lightness so that people I talk to feel inspired and not beaten up; getting out of my own way so that, in Ghandi’s words, I can BE the change I want to see in the world.

What would you say to a 20-30 year old struggling to find her way?

Get in touch with what really excites and inspires you and then give it everything you’ve got. Make sure you find ways to resource yourself so that you can stay grounded and connected to your purpose. Spiritual connection, in whatever way you find it, is invaluable.

Pippa, and other women like her, challenge the stereotype that at age 60, we’re meant to bow out and ‘retire’ out of involvement. Instead, these women inspire us with their continual dynamism and well-earned wisdom, suggesting to the younger ones among us that perhaps life is just beginning….

The World Needs Your Passion, So…

1) What stereotypes are there about what you should be doing at your age?

2) What do you want to be able to say about your life at age 59 (and 69… 79… 89… 99)?

3) Leave a comment on this blog post, letting us know how you feel about your age. What does it help with? What do you feel it hinders? What inspiration do you draw from people around you of different ages? Who are the elders that YOU respect?

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

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Want A Different Kind Of Christmas Present This Year?

I’d like to make it easy for you to avoid the same-old nothing-really-changes presents under the tree.

Simply copy and paste the message below, deleting where applicable and with links intact, and send to your friend, family, colleague or partner to receive a gift which you actually want.

“Hello! If you’d like a Christmas present idea for me this year, I would love this:

- An e-course to help with my new year resolution

- A place on a workshop to combat my fear of failure / to kickstart my venture

- A one-to-one coaching session

- A coaching journey of eight sessions

When you buy this for me, mention in the Comments section that this is a present and then you’ll receive a voucher back which you can give me for Christmas! Thanks in advance”.

Now sit back and wait hopefully

When I scan my life for experiences of this feeling, I can quickly find dozens: bungy jumping, telling my friend I had feelings for her, the first time I gave my The World Needs Your Passion talk, sky-diving, handing my notice in at my teaching job, singing a song I wrote in front of 300 people at a conference, our wedding day, hand-gliding.

It’s no coincidence that these are also some of the events I land on when I scan for the highlights, those experiences which have brought the most richness to my life.

Why no coincidence? Well, as Susan Jeffers outlines in her classic ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’, we are guaranteed to encounter fear every time we take a risk. It makes sense that moving out of our comfort zone won’t be comfortable. The critical point is that we take these actions because we want to have a more fulfilling experience of life – we want to say that we have truly lived – and so that feeling of fear is worth bearing. Jeffers’ point of view is that we need to accept that fear will always be there and decide to take it along for the ride.

Or we could not. No-one is forcing us to take risks or leave our comfort zone. BUT staying where we are is not the pain-free option. I’m sure you know as well as me that when we stay stuck, we experience that gnawing sense of a wasted life, the silent panic as time ticks by without achievement, that dread, the regrets, the hopelessness and the helplessness. I don’t want that feeling – nor do I want it for you.

Invariably with my clients, a motto emerges. “Get on with it”, “Just do it”, “Go for it”, “Feel the fear and do it anyway”. These women are brave; they adopt their motto because they are committed to moving forward, knowing that encountering the fear is far preferable to living a half-awake life.

You’ve probably seen that there’s a workshop running on Sat 10th October called Kickstart Your Venture. This is a heart-felt plea for you to pause and honestly consider whether this would help YOU move away from a life of regrets. Do you have an idea for a project or business, a charity or community venture, that you’re not currently acting on? How does that feel – that gap between idea and reality? My guess is that it doesn’t feel good.

Now take a look at the Kickstart Your Venture workshop. Can you make the date? Can you afford £35? Now scan for fear; if it’s there, it’s a good sign! It indicates that this could actually be an opportunity for you to finally move forward. I want to clarify: It doesn’t matter how vague and higgledly piggledy your idea is. It doesn’t matter that you have no clue how you’d actually make it happen. That’s what the workshop will help you with. You just have to turn up, willing to talk about your idea, and willing to support the other participants as they share theirs.

Please don’t wait for the fear to dissipate. It won’t. As Susan Jeffers says: “We can’t escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures”.

The World Needs Your Passion, So…

1) Inquiry: Where do you find it easy to move forward, despite the fear? In which area(s) of your life have you taken risks so often that the fear has lessened and a previously daunting experience now feels normal and comfortable?

2) Inquiry: Where are you stuck because you haven’t been willing to experience the fear? What’s that like?

3) Action time! Based on your findings in 2) and encouraged by the evidence you uncovered in 1), commit to taking action TODAY that feels scary. You know that you will feel fear; take a deep breath and decide to do it anyway. And as you feel the fear, acknowledge yourself for how you are able to handle it. It may not feel pleasant but nor does it kill you. You can deal with it. How much freer does that feel, how much more is possible for your life?

4) Leave a comment below, letting us know what you experience when you feel the fear and do it anyway…

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

The Global Climate Wake-Up Call

Monday 21st September, 12:18pm onwards, EVERYWHERE

Unprecedented grassroots action in our communities to demand that our leaders sign a fair, ambitious & binding climate treaty at the final UN Climate Summit in Copenhagen in December. Click here for more information; find your local event or feel the fear and put yourself forward NOW to host one!

Too often, we find ourselves trapped in patterns which are painful and frustrating. I found myself caught up in one last week and grabbed the opportunity, using my experience as a laboratory in order to offer us this step-by-step guide:

1. Identify The Discomfort, Give It A Name

Your intention is to have a calm, peacefully productive day. A few hours in, however, you notice that you’re stressed. You’ve been on the computer for too long, your to-do list has doubled, your office is becoming increasingly chaotic and you no longer feel in control. Internally, call ‘time out’. Examine your physical experience in this moment. What is literally happening inside you? When I did this, I found a pervasive sense of anxiety, even panic; I was tense, like something was gripping on inside, and my breathing was shallow. I called this Get A Grip.

2. Identify The Intention

Get curious about what’s happening; see your experience as a strategy to meet some intention. A certain part of us is in charge in this moment, using this strategy. What could be its intention? With my Get A Grip, this part of me wants me to do well. It wants me to meet deadlines. It wants me to be in action. It’s doing it in a painful way but that’s the intention. When I reflect, I can see that I’m someone who never misses a deadline. Throughout school, university, post-grad and coach certification, all my assignments were in on time without fail. Now, being self-employed, without the pressure of external deadlines, I can see that this part of me believes I have to exert internal pressure in order to keep being successful. That’s its intention and whether I like it or not, currently this is the strategy it’s employing to meet this intention.

3. Thank This Part

We could call this part of us our Guardian. Wanting me to be successful is a healthy intention so I can thank it for all the times in my life when it has enabled me to get pieces of work in on time. The truth is: something here really works. While I might not enjoy the strategy my Guardian is using, I can acknowledge and be grateful for the intention.

4. Separate The Strategy From The Intention

This is where it starts getting interesting. Our question now is: In order to meet this intention (e.g. achieve success), what strategies are there? We already know our default one e.g. my Get A Grip but there are many others. How could we meet the same intention… in a different (preferable) way?

5. Scan For Evidence Of Other Strategies

I can now explore: When else in my life have I met deadlines but used a different strategy? One example is that I never miss a train but here I use a different strategy: I look at the timings and I book a cab at a specific time in order to meet the train. There’s no emotion involved, no anxiety, it’s clear cut and simple. I can call this strategy Plan And Book. We can keep looking for other possible strategies.

6. Experiment With Another Strategy

This is the time to implement one of the alternative strategies. We may want to place sticky notes around our home or office that remind us of the new one, or we may want to acquire structures to assist e.g. I have a new diary which gives me more space to plan and book. Give the new strategy some time, see if it’s effective. If not, move on and try a different one.

It’s very easy to make the Guardian part of us ‘bad’ and treat it as if it’s unwelcome. My premise is that if we can meet its healthy intention with a different, more preferable, strategy then the Guardian part of us will be reassured and work with us, rather than seemingly against us.

The World Needs Your Passion, So…

1) Choose an area of your life where you feel that your best efforts and intentions are generally subject to self-sabotage. Use this step-by-step guide to gain relief.

2) Leave a comment on this blog, letting us know how you find this process….

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009

* You’re Not Alone *

Identifying the different parts of us and their intentions and strategies is an integral part of the individual coaching programme. Click here for more details and to book your free consultation > >

Along with loss of financial security, one of the top concerns I hear from women who are contemplating a new path is the challenge of having to start from scratch.

It’s understandable. In your existing profession, you’ve built up years of experience and a solid reputation. You’re known and you know your systems so well you could run them with your eyes closed.

Perhaps you’re a teacher who has accumulated years of schemes of work and lesson plans, or an HR manager who has built hundreds of relationships.

You know you’re good at your work and you can’t quite bring yourself to turn your back on all that groundwork to go back to square one with a different venture or industry.

It’s the same reason we don’t leave relationships or move house, even when we know they’re not ideal. We’ve invested a lot in the status quo and we’re fearful, believing better the devil we know. Our existing situation isn’t ideal – but it’s good enough.

Right?

Wrong. ‘Good enough’ isn’t good enough.

It’s not okay that you get that sinking feeling in your tummy on Sunday evenings. It’s not good enough that you’re getting frequent migraines, colds, back pain and eye strain.

You’re too precious to waste your life, to let your creativity stagnate, your idealism fade away. You know you want to be doing something more meaningful, making more of a difference – so it’s time to find ways of dealing with the loss involved.

As you may have spotted, I’m in a process of major transition at the moment. Creating my new website has meant letting go of the old one; shifting my email communications to a new automated system means I’m guaranteed to lose some of my previous subscribers.

The truth is – if we’re committed to moving forward, we WILL lose certain things along the way. In order to embrace the new, we’ll leave some things behind AND we won’t leave everything. What is important is to decide: What is worth holding on to? and What is holding us back?

The World Needs Your Passion, So…

1) Whether it’s leaving a job or changing an aspect of your existing venture, take pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and answer: What are the main aspects you’re reluctant to lose? What are you intending to gain? Then, assess honestly: Does the expected gain make the loss worth it?

2) Choose a metaphor for this transition that inspires you. Perhaps it’s that you’re leaving one island and swimming to another. Build into this metaphor the key aspects you’re taking with you – certain skills, people or ways of working – that will help you on the journey and be useful when you get to the other island.

3) Contribute to the discussion, letting us know how you deal with loss and letting go.

© Corrina Gordon-Barnes, 2009. All rights reserved.

* Workshop: Kickstart Your Venture

You may be a ‘leap and the net will appear’ believer, or you may feel more comfortable with having a tangible plan. Either way, you need space to articulate your idea for a new venture and the Kickstart Your Venture workshop has been designed for this purpose. Click here for more information and to book your place.